If you think you know enough about love, wait until you read this module. Here we reveal how to use the constructive, transformative and healing power of love as the means of achieving anything you want.

If you find it hard to love some people, you ought to love for your own sake, not for other’s. You should love, not because someone deserves it, but because you deserve it. In love, the one who gains the most is the one who loves, not the one who is loved.

Content:
(everything is on this page)
bullet  The True Meaning of Love
bullet  Why is important to love
bullet  The constructive force of love
bullet  The Art of Loving
bullet  How to love oneself and others
bullet  Love issues
bullet  The power of feelings and emotions
bullet  How to love the unlovable
bullet  Unconditional Love
bullet  How to be loved
bullet  Why we don't get what we love
bullet  Inspirational videos
 

 

TRUE AND LASTING
LOVE

author: Talidari



Ah, love. It launched a myriad of songs and poems. People are known to do all kinds of things out of love, for love, and in the name of love, even kill and die. In this module, we unveil the mystery of love so that you can harness the power of love.

A five-year-old has once described love as: "When mom gives dad the best piece of chicken, that's love."


Related

This module is a part of:
Virtuology e-course
and
Virtuology e-book
 
Some say, children know more about love than adults do, but only because they haven't learned anything about love during their life, nor have they cultivated it properly. Love is more than generosity and selflessness, and more than a feeling.

Love is not what you do, but what you are. To be a loving person, it simply means to be willing to respond with love. Willingness and responsibility play a crucial role in cultivating love.

The power of love is known to be capable of curing all diseases, of driving men to invent things that improve the human condition and generate huge profits, of creating works of arts that amaze and inspire entire mankind, of making us do grand things for others that we would otherwise not do, and much more. This fascinating power is inherent in every man but most people don't use it to their full advantage. This module on love will solve that; it will help you gain your superpowers if you are up for it.

True love has nothing to do with others. Your love is all about you. It is a way you are, a way of being  or living. It essentially means you have raised your consciousness to the mode that bestows sweetness to your emotion, exuberance to your mind, pleasure to your body, and fuel to your spirit, as it drives you to do things you wouldn't normally do.

Love is purely your own quality. Love is never between two people. It is what happens within you, not outside you, not in the space between you and the object of love. Which is why your feelings should not be bound to someone or something. You are only using others as a means to channel what is already within you. Since it is so, why limit yourself to how many people and things you love?!

Right now, most likely you only love a few people who have done something great to you, as well as a small number of others whom you find fascinating, like celebrities, who have done nothing for you other than maybe entertain or inform you. It seems like people have to deserve your love, don't they? Why is that? And to what purpose? By limiting the number of objects of your love, you limit the chances for yourself to enjoy the benefits of love. Think about it. The insight will open you up to love more and so enjoy your life more.

One of the causes of the untapped power of love is common man’s false belief that to love, one needs an object of love and reason for love, so when any of it is missing, then people simply don't go into the powerful love mode. Such a limiting belief makes people love less and seldom, which results in overall disempowerment.

If you believe that you need a certain type of person(s) and stuff to be in love or in the state of love, then this mistaken belief is crippling you, taking your power away. The degree to which you cultivate your love determines the degree of your power.

As long as you use or need others as means to channel the love that is already within you, you are setting yourself up for suffering, anxiety and even hatred at some point. Because, if your love is dependent on others pleasing you and your ego, it will inevitably turn sour at some point, since it is not other people’s job to please you 24/7 all your life. You can count on the law of polarity, that is, on the unpleasant experiences along with the pleasant ones. Your loved ones will not only love and please you, but will also surely displease and disappoint you every so often.

So, you’d better not leave it up to them whether you keep your love alive. No one should have power over your love ability and lovability. You need to own your love; own it as your virtue now by making that choice right now for ever and ever. Take full responsibility for how you respond and feel every moment of your life. By doing so, you transfer power into your own hands, instead of others having power over you in that regard.

When you realize that love is your essence, your true nature, your soul’s nature, then you realize that you are capable of loving unconditionally and that you don't need a reason for love or even an object to love. You love because you are a loving person, not because others are loving persons. This is so important, so we repeat it: you love because you are a person full of love, because love is in your nature, in your character, and not because other people are full of love or worthy of your love. Objects of love don't matter. They shouldn't push your buttons; you should do that.

Once your love is on self-start rather than push-start, you have upgraded your controls, functions, security, performance and potential. You are no longer enslaved to an external source or supply for your love, but become free to be in love all the time or whenever you wish. And when you are a truly loving human being, people will naturally love you! But when you are full of love, you don’t need their love and don’t need to own their love to own yours. Especially, you do not need a monopoly over their love. Let them love everyone and not just you. Let them free so you can be free too.

You are then free and able to love anyone and anything simply because love is your natural mode of being. You are then free to love, instead of being dependent on others on external conditions. Thereby you allow yourself to have unlimited experiences of love. It will then depend only on you, whom and how much you love, rather than on others. You love then not because others deserve to be loved but because you deserve to love, that is, because you are worthy of being in the state of love and reaping all the benefits thereof.

The act of loving is doing you the greatest good and wonders, so it is rather silly to require an object worthy of your love in order to be in the elevated mode of consciousness we call love, or to express your true nature.

We love, not because others deserve our love but because by loving them, we maintain our purity and release all impurities from our minds and hearts.
We love, not because others deserve to be loved but because we know that by loving them, we help them to become better. Love changes both giver and taker for the better.

Another cause of the humans' untapped power of love is loving just in theory and not in practice. Ask yourself this: in the last 24 hours, how many minutes have you actually spent being in the state of love? We know you love your family, but how many minutes have you actually spent feeling, thinking and expressing yourlove?

If you are like most people, you spend very little time every day truly loving people, your job and everything else, as in radiating the vibrations of love from your heart, while really feeling it, thinking it, and expressing it. That is why your superpowers are very weak and that is how you can gain your superpowers. True love opens your meridians and channels for receiving beneficial ideas (curative, profit-generating, etc.), which empowers you and uplifts you.

Most people think about love as something that happens to us. We fall in love. Someone makes us love them when they do us good or perform well. However, love doesn't happen to us at all, at least not in a mysterious way. We love certain people and things because of our body chemistry that is modulated by our value system and consciousness degree, to put it simply. There's more to it, of course, but none of it has to do with love befalling on us, or us falling in it by some mysterious means.

Once you get familiar with the science of love, you will be able to grasp and cultivate love much more. What and who appeals to you, your taste in people and things is determined by your consciousnes' level, which is why, for instance, advanced monks and priests typically don't love rap music and why rappers don't love gospel music. There are also other factors, like smells, or bacteria in your belly that loves sugar, which is why you believe you love sweets. By and large, we are conditioned to love some people and things and not to love others. All in all, love is not a mystery any longer and it is something that is totally in your power, as you are about to discover.

Most people think about love as something that happens to us. We fall in love. Someone makes us love them when they do us good or perform well. However, love doesn’t happen to us at all, at least not in a mysterious way. We love certain people and things because of our body chemistry that is modulated by our value system and consciousness level, to put it simply. There's more to it, of course, but none of it has to do with love befalling on us, or us falling in it by some mysterious means.

Once you get familiar with the science of love, you will be able to grasp and cultivate love much more. What and who appeals to you, your taste in people and things is determined by your consciousness’ level, which is why, for instance, advanced monks and priests usually don't love rap music and why rappers don't love gospel music. Apart from the level of consciousness, there are also other factors, like smells, as well as bacteria in your belly that loves sugar, which is why you believe you love sweets. All in all, love is not a mystery to those in the know and it is something that is totally in your power, as you are about to discover.

Love is usually perceived to be a feeling, an emotion, a state of mind and a physical condition, and when all these are expressed simultaneously, then we call it a virtue. If love is just something you feel, then it is not a virtue. If love is something you do in theory (mentally), but not in practice and not with heart, then it is also not a virtue. For love to be considered a virtue, it has to be manifested in all the aspects of the human being – by heart, mind, body and spirit. The human soul’s expression is that of love, as well as of other virtues.

It is very important to understand that love is not just an emotion or a mental state but, above all, a virtue. So, love is not just something we feel or think, but what we are. When you look at love like that, it's like giving yourself permission to always love. When you know that love is your nature, just as kindness is, then you don't have to wait for love to come to you or to happen to you, but you can call it forth at any time and make all your important decisions whilst in the self-induced mode of love, rather than of fear, worry, greed or any other modes of ego.

No one denies that love is an emotion, as well as a state of mind, but we emphasize that it becomes a virtue as soon as we transcend the limitations and impurities of our heart and mind and move our pure love to a new level where it becomes more than an emotion or a state of mind, where it becomes your nature, part of your character. Love has always been your nature, only you might have not perceived it as such, you have not own it. As soon as you take it as part of yourself, as your virtue, and not just as a mere emotional or mental state, you will be free to live it, and not just feel it, think it, or express it occasionally.

The True Meaning of Love

Love is not what you think it is. It’s not what we think either.
Love is not what anybody thinks it is. That is because love cannot be understood by thinking. And especially not by reading. That is because love is not reduced to the human mind or heart. To grasp love, you need to live from the level of the soul – allowing your soul to guide you rather than your mind, emotions or five senses.

We are not here to teach you what love is but to inspire you to unlearn what you know about love and to experience it anew, but more importantly to get you to use its power to manifest and fulfill your vision and mission in life. With new insights into this topic, love takes on new meanings and takes you to a whole new direction, to the new dimensions of existence, where the lightness of being is a norm.

With that in mind, let’s start at least by exposing what love is not. Love is not just an emotion or a state of mind. It is more a way of being, and also a driving force behind every invention, discovery, and creation. But that’s not nearly all.

“Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others”. – David R. Hawkins

Since love is a constructive and positive force, then the lack of love, as well as misinterpretation of love, is the source of all that is negative, the source of all the pain and suffering in the world, and the source of every sin. Who sins, lacks love. If love makes you sin, it is not true love. If it hurts, it is not true love. It is what you think love is, but not the love itself.

So, let’s not talk about the imitation of love. Let’s talk about the love, true love.

"Most people know no true love but only the ego love – they love others for what they do for them instead for what or who they are, having nothing to do with them. And even worse, they love themselves also for what they do for themselves; in other words, when they are good, they love themselves, when they are bad, they don't love themselves." – T. Harv Eker (33:00)

True love, the one worth fighting for, the one we would be ready to give our life for, is a magnificent, powerful force in us that empowers us to move mountains, expect the unexpected, make the impossible possible, realize the unrealizable – that love cannot be and is not a force that makes us do anything indecent or negative, especially not to family and friends, but on the contrary – true love is stronger than any lower modes of consciousness, such as fear, worries, lust, hate, ego, resentment, aggression, pride, skepticism, stinginess, lying, cheating, etc. True love is always on the side of truth, not deceit.

Therefore, anyone who thinks they are doing something inappropriate for the sake of love, are deceiving themselves. They do it for the sake of something that seems like love but it is not it. They do it because they are too weak to resist temptation, thus fall into temptation, not in love. We should not resist anything anyway, as for abiding by the the Law of Resistance, but we should surrender to true love by facing the truth, and speaking it.

It is not love if you’re afraid to tell the truth. It is not love if it hurts. It is not love if it causes worries, fears, greed or any other weaknesses. Love is a constructive force, not a destructive one. Otherwise, it is not love but something deceitful. Often, we think we do something out of love, but in all honesty, we do it out of ego, fear, worry, possessiveness, greed, lust or something like that.

The power of love; a force from above, cleaning my soul – The Power of Love, by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
I Want to know what love is – Foreigner

There is more to love than one could ever put in words, more than one could express. That’s the magic of love. To describe love is like describing the taste of, say, chocolate. You just have to taste it to know it, and even then, you cannot really get it or fully grasp it. Thus, never believe that you know love. Love can't be known, it can only be felt.

Love is often misinterpreted and complicated. Many feelings are interpreted as love, although they are not it – synonyms like these: admiration, affection, affiliation, affinity, appreciation, attraction, crush, devotion, fascination, fondness, infatuation, lust, obsession, passion, respect, yearning, adulation, allegiance, amity, ardor, attachment, cherishing, closeness, crush, delight, dependency, desire, devotedness, enchantment, enjoyment, enthusiasm, fervor, fidelity, flame, hankering, horniness, idolatry, inclination, infatuation, intimacy, involvement, jealousy, like, lust, partiality, passion, piety, possessiveness, preference, rapture, regard, relish, sentiment, worship, zeal, ardency, madness, soft spot, sparks, and others.
These are all the emotions and conditions induced by love, or leading to love, but they are not the love itself. Many emotions are the cause or effect of love but are not the love itself.

When asked what love is for them, most people respond that love is a feeling. And yet, in terms of love, it is not the heart that has the command, as researchers now know, but the brain. Falling in love activates about 12 regions in our brain and hormones that regulate our conditions. Being in love affects our hormone levels, blood pressure and heart rate.

When we're in love, our brain releases oxytocin (“the love hormone”), which can impair memory and cause absent-mindedness but also increases our tolerance for physical pain, lowers anxiety, fear, and inhibition and makes us more boastful and confident.
Our loving brain releases also serotonin ("the happiness hormone"), and the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is the brain’s pleasure and motivational chemical, stimulating us to seek out pleasure and triggering goal-oriented behavior, where no one and nothing else matters but the object of our love, whether it is a person or a thing or experience. Our brains are in overdrive then and are only concerned with getting more dopamine by occupying ourselves with the matters of love. Our brains need that next 'fix' and will do whatever it takes to get it.

This constant urge to be with loved ones and to have or do what you love can leave you feeling a little needy and addictive, so it's helpful to know that it's just biology. And as you know, your biology and chemistry can be easily regulated or balanced by some mind-work like meditation.

Love at first sight is actually love at first smell. Your nose plays a part in the falling in love, whether you really smell anything or not. Pheromones, which are chemical messengers, play a part in human sexual attraction. We detect subtle odors that we aren't even aware of but play a great role in whom we pick for a mate. In the same way, we can despise someone's scent for one reason or another.

But being in love isn't all in our heads either, as pheromones and hormones cause reactions throughout the whole body, which explains that tingly feeling we get when we see a loved one, or the "high" we feel while falling in love, why our palms sweat and our hearts race. The adrenaline hormone is produced by both the adrenal glands and certain neurons. The adrenal glands lie above the kidneys. This hormone can make our blood vessels dilate, improving the flow of blood and oxygen throughout the body, making us blush.
All in all, love is not something you feel only in your heart but in every pore of your body and, above all, in your soul.

"Like is how you feel about someone but love is how you treat them." – The Course In Miracles

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind ;
Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgement taste"
– Shakespeare
A Midsummer Night’s Dream

 

Most people fool themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort, and well-being are actually relationships of love. No matter how many times true love has been proclaimed, if a few expectations and requirements are not fulfilled, relationship falls apart and love is gone. Love as most people understand it is nothing but a mutual benefit scheme. The true meaning of love is only in unconditional love. True love is not conditional, because it is our true nature.

Love is so simple and omnipotent that the intellect can't comprehend it.
Those who know about love only through superficial and temporary relationships, romance novels and movies, without actually knowing and feeling it through direct, genuine experience, they believe that love is primarily a feeling or emotion. Love is not only something you feel. It is much more than that:

Love is a constructive force – it incites creativity: loving something or someone inspires us to push the limits of what is possible, to invent unusual solutions, to create new values, to be innovative and engage in activities through which we can give the world our best.

"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives."
– Louise Hay

"Taking all the anger and hatred that is standing in your way and replacing it with love is the most healing thing you can do. Fill your soul with love, rather than anger and so many things will change in your life."
– Wayne Dyer
 

Love is a healing force – fear, hatred and similar toxic emotions make us ill, while love is the force that heals. All major healers use the force of love in their treatments. When we’re sick, instead of complaining, whining, worrying, fearing, being angry, blaming whatever or whoever, getting frustrated and such, we should embrace the thoughts and feelings of love to enable and speed up our healing. This is how miraculous healings occur. All chronic illnesses are psychosomatic, so they should be treated on the same level – in the psyche. One of the methods how to use love for healing is the Hawaian method called ho’oponopono, which is also described below.

Love is a transformative force – many people have changed under the influence of love, regardless of its kind: parental, romantic, business or any other kind. Love incites us to be better human beings, transforms us into a better version of ourselves.


Love plays a central role in life. We are told that love makes the world go round. Psychologists claim that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need and that it is the driving force of human society.

In the Bible, love is designated as the greatest theological virtue. In I Corinthians 13, it is written:
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

"Love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe." – Deepak Chopra

"Love makes a subtle man out of a crude one, it gives eloquence to the mute, it gives courage the cowardly and makes the idle quick and sharp." – Juan Ruiz

"Perfect love is rare indeed – for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." – Leo Buscaglia

"Love, but truly! Then, all the other virtues will follow." – L. A. Feuerbach

First of all, what is true love? It can't be defined, nevertheless, we’ll throw some definitions to give you a hint:

bullet  "Love is a way of being. It is the energy that radiates when the blocks to it have been surrendered. It is more than an emotion or a thought – it is a state of being. Love is what we have become through the pathway of surrender." – Dr. David R. Hawkins
bullet  "Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of
   creation." – Sri Aurobindo or Rabindranath Tagore
bullet  "Love is the deep urge to be one with the whole, the deep urge to dissolve I and thou into one unity.  Love is that because we are separated from our own source, out of that separation the desire arises to fall back into the whole, to become one with it." – Osho
bullet  "Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not." – Nietzsche
bullet  "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
bullet  "Love is a victory over ego." – Talidari
bullet  "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." – H. L. Mencken
bullet  "Love is an art that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily." – Erich
    Fromm
bullet  "Love is a game that two can play and both win." – Eva Gabor
bullet  "Love is the solution to all our problems and the means to accomplishing everything we want." – Talidari

Are you wondering if you truly love someone or if someone truly loves you?
Here are some hints:

  • Love is... to help someone grow.
  • Love is... when the happiness of the loved one is more important to you than your own.
  • "Love is to be delighted by the happiness of another.“ – Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz
  • "Love means renouncing strength.“ – Milan Kundera
  • It’s not true love... if it hurts.
  • It’s not true love... if it robs us of our authenticity.
  • To love each other doesn't mean to look at each other, but to look at the same direction.
  • If love makes you do stupid things, it’s not true love.
  • "Love is by definition an unmerited gift; being loved without meriting it is the very proof of real love. If a woman tells me: I love you because you’re intelligent, because you’re decent, because you buy me gifts, because you don't chase women, because you do the dishes, then I’m disappointed; such love seems a rather self-interested business. How much finer it is to hear: I’m crazy about you even though you’re neither intelligent nor decent, even though you’re a liar, an egotist, a bastard." – Milan Kundera

True love, no matter towards whom, is a natural force that makes a man happy and enriched. When it’s true, love gives wings, but when it is not true, it trims them.
Those who suffer for the sake of love, as well as those who, in the name of love, complain and try to change the loved one, do not do it out of love, but out of ignorance or fear. Love is too often used as an excuse for fear. But it’s also used as an excuse for many other vulnerabilities such as insecurity, lack of confidence, jealousy, lack of self-love, timidity, self-pity, guilt, feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, attachment, dependency, and even laziness. Those who say they suffer because of love are lying to themselves and others.

here-is-no-fear-in-love-but-perfect-love-casts-out-fear-bible
"Love is stronger than fear. Fear is present only if real love is not."
Talidari

We tend to say hate is the opposite of love, but not all those who don't love hate. The opposite of love is fear and ignorance really. It is what keeps us from loving. Of course, there are cases where other weaknesses are involved, like pride, ego, vanity, arrogance, distrust, selfishness, blame, criticality...

They say we differ many types and subtypes of love:

  • interpersonal (parental, fraternal, romantic, friendly, neighborly...)
  • towards other beings (God, saints, angels, animals, plants...)
  • towards things (food, money, cars, shoes, jewelry, books...)
  • towards activities (sports, art, spending time in nature...)
But is that really so and what is the basis of true love?

 

 

I Corinthians 13: 4-7

Ljubav je velikodušna

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you'd like them to be."
– Leo N. Tolstoy
("Anna Karenina")

 


"Try to reason about love and you will lose your reason."
– French proverb

Distinguishing different types and subtypes of love is the quality of mind, which approaches love using reason. The reason is limited or narrow-minded because it relies only on intellect and logic. But world and life are not subordinated to reason and they operate according to principles that are not created by the human mind, the principles that the human mind only seeks to understand. Love is love. Only one. Love has no form nor can it be classified, because that would limit it.

"If you love only one being deeply, all the others will seem worthy of love too."
– Goethe
 

There is only one true love towards everyone and everything.
If you think that loving a person is one thing, and loving something or someone else is another, then you do not know true love and you live life in limitations and, possibly, lack of love. With such a take on love, you will naturally often wonder if your loved one might prefer something else or someone else over you, if (s)he at some point gives more attention or time to another thing or person than to you. But the correct view of love, one that allows love to be fully expressed, one that brings peace, happiness and joy instead of jealousy, envy, complaining or criticizing is: loving others does not diminish the love for anyone, but increases it. By loving others, your loved ones love you too. We receive love directly and indirectly.

Regardless of whether love is being directed towards you or not at any given time, love is there, doing its thing, also for you. By not selfishly limiting love only to yourself but letting your loved ones to love others too, you allow the love to grow in them and help them spend more time loving than grumbling, which has overall positive effects. By nurturing their love towards others, they nurture their love in general, including towards you (unless you stand in the way with your negativity), because it’s all one love that is multiplied. Loving one more, it is impossible to love the other less because of it. However, it is possible to give less attention, so what we are craving is not more love but more attention (or in some case justice).

"Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an ordination of character which determines the relatedness of the person to the whole world as a whole, not toward one object of love."
– Erich Fromm
 

If someone loves you less, it’s not because (s)he loves someone else more, but because you have done something to reduce the love of that person, or because you don't (any longer) express qualities that (s)he lacks – more on that coming up. So, what to do when someone seems to love you less? The opposite of what have you been doing so far. Instead of reproaching, criticizing, sulking, scheming, punishing or engaging any of such destructive behavior, just let it be, knowing that real joy doesn't come from the outside world, so the outside world cannot destroy it. You don't need anyone to love you (more) to be happy. If you believe otherwise, you are living in illusion, which is the real cause of your suffering, not someone else!

Therefore, if you think that your loved one loves his or her job, a sport, or family, or friends more than you, instead of selfishly nagging about it, support them in that love and talk about what’s really bothering you. If (s)he is not giving you enough time and attention, talk about regulating that. It won't become better through attacks and quarrels but through support and agreement or arrangement.

The more things we love the better, because that strengthens our love in general and because that way, we spend more time in a positive vibration than in a negative one (when being held back). As a result, our positive vibration will have a positive effect on everything around us and will attract to us positive experiences and people.

Most people wrongly equate love with attention, because as infants they did it and it stuck. The more attention their parents gave them, it meant for them that they loved them more, and the lack of attention, it meant for them that parents didn't love them (enough). But this was false understanding, of course, as parents, naturally, loved them all the same, with attention or no attention. Less attention only meant that they were too busy providing or caring for the family. But infants are not that smart. Unfortunately, this bond between love and attention was impregnated strongly from the early days and therefore it stuck, especially in the subconscious mind, so the people who don't review their old beliefs from time to time become victims of their juvenile beliefs all their life. So, right here and now, disconnect these two! Love and attention are two different things. Enjoy love regardless of the attention others give you. Do not seek attention, but rather connect with the higher, true love.

Love shouldn't be just an effect, but also a cause.
In other words, we shouldn't love only when someone deserves it, but also love for someone to deserve it. We could say, we don't love because we are loved, rather, we are loved because we love (regardless of what or who) – just by being in the vibration of love makes us loveable.
Love is the solution to all our problems and means to getting everything we want.

It’s in our nature to love, just look at small children or yourself when you were little. We loved without limitations, without ever being taught to love. We could love a lot of things when we were children, and we can still do it now.

Love is also a matter of decision. We can decide to love more and, by deciding that, achieve it. We can't love only when we are not in alignment with our source and with our true nature when we neglect our soul. No matter what the life circumstances are, as soon as we feed our soul and connect with nature (inner and outer), love comes on its own. With it, all other natural consequences follow, like happiness and success.

Love is in us even when we don't feel it or when we are unaware of it. It’s a part of our nature. Those who don't love themselves and others are distanced from their nature, their soul, their source, and from God. All they need is to get acquainted with their soul, regularly feed it and allow their soul to take the lead (instead of their ego).

 
Inspirational Story of Feelings

Hide and Seek

Once upon a time, all human feelings and all human qualities met up in a hidden place somewhere on Earth. When Boredom yawned for the third time Craziness, always so crazy, proposed: "Let’s play hide and seek. Who hides the best is the winner among feelings!”

Intrigue rose her right eyebrow, and Curiosity, not being able to hold her tongue, asked: “Hide and seek? What kind of a game is that?”

“It is a game,” started explaining Craziness, “in which I cover my eyes and count to million, while all of you hide. When I finish counting, I go in a search, and who I find the last is the winner.”

Enthusiasm started dancing, followed by Spirit. Happiness was jumping so much she persuaded Suspicion and Apathy to play who were never interested in anything. But not everyone wanted to play. Truth was against hiding, why should she hide anyway? Everyone, in the end, always find her.
Pride thought it was a stupid idea, although in reality it was bothering him he wasn't the one to suggest the game. Caution didn't want to risk it.

“One, two, three….” started counting Craziness.

First to hide was Laziness who, as always, just threw herself behind the first rock.
Faith climbed to the sky,
Envy hid in Success’s shadow who climbed, with a lot of trouble, to the top of the highest tree.
Generosity just couldn't decide where to hide because every place seemed perfect for one of her friends.
Beauty jumped in the crystal clear lake, while Shyness continued to peek from a crack in a tree.
Elegance found her place in the flight of a butterfly, and Freedom in winds breath.
Selfishness found a hideout, but only for herself!
Lie hid at the end of the rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean),
Lust and Passion hid in a volcano.
Forgetfulness forgot to hide, but that is not important.

When Craziness counted 999 999, Love still hadn't found a hideout because everything was already taken. She saw a rose garden, jumped in it, and cowered herself in beautiful buds.
“Million,” finished Craziness and started her search.

First she found Laziness behind the nearest rock. Soon she heard Faith discussing theology with God, while Lust and Passion jumped from the volcano from fear. By chance there was Envy here, and offcourse Success, she didn't even have to find Selfishness. She ran out of her perfect hideout on her own which proved to be a beehive. From so much searching Craziness got thirsty,and so she found Beauty in the crystal clear lake. Whit Suspicion she had no problem because she couldn't decide on a hideout so she just continued to sit on a nearby rock.
And so Craziness, little by little, found almost everyone. Talent was in the golden wheat, Anxiety was in the burnt grass, Lie was at the end of a rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean), and Forgetfulness forgot they were even playing.

Only Love was nowhere to be found.

She looked in every bush and on top of every mountain and when she was already infuriated she saw the rose garden. She went among the roses, took a dry branch and, furious and infirm, started hitting over the beautiful rose buds. Suddenly there was a painful cry. Rose thorns scratched Love’s eyes. Craziness didn't know what to do. She found Victory, feeling above feelings, but Love was blind. She cried and begged Love for forgiveness and in the end she decided to stay with Love forever and help her.

And so Love become the winner among feelings, but was left blind and Craziness became her faithful companion.

 

 

AMOR VINCIT OMNIA Love conquers all.
– Latin proverb
 

"He who knows nothing, loves nothing."

– PARACELSUS
 
"I don't love you because you're great. I love you because I am great when I'm with you."
Talidari
 


“To Love is to be God.”

– Jalaluddin Rumi
 
"The purpose of life is to be restored back to Love, moment to moment. To fulfill this purpose, the individual must acknowledge that he is 100 % responsible for creating his life the way it is. He must come to see that it is his thoughts that create his life the way it is moment to moment."
Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D.

 

    Why It Is Important to Loveeven those who have done us wrong

For your own sake
"Nothing is hard when you love."
– Ciceron
 

Love needs no reason. Everyone, naturally and instinctively, wants to love and be loved. We need to love because love is our nature, and not because something or someone deserves our love. By nature, we are souls for which love is the most natural and therefore most favorite state. Everyone prefers to do what they love and to be with those they love and to have what they love. This is because at our core we are the loving souls, so when we drift away from our true nature, we are inclined to restore it by external means.

It is in our nature to be inclined toward love. However, it doesn't come easy to many people due to a variety of reasons. Therefore, it is necessary to make it easier by raising awareness for what good does it bring us to love so that we can open to it more. Many people think that they are open to love but they are not.

As a matter of fact, most people can be really hard on themselves, depriving themselves of love, hiding behind the virtues of humbleness, modesty, temperance, abstinence, propriety, righteousness and others. However, there is no substitute for love, and there can be no excuses for love deprivation! No matter how noble some of the other prioritized virtues are, they don't do justice to certain aspects of life for which only love can do. With all due respect to the other virtues for which settle those who put love aside, this is a cowardly act no matter how you slice it.

Many people deny themselves love in the name of something, not knowing that, essentially, they do it out of fear and ignorance. Although it appears as if they do it because of this or that, in fact, they are afraid of the consequences, out of ignorance and out of lack of faith in Higher Power that is omnipresent and so in us too.

So, for example, many people give up the idea of working what they love, allegedly because of putting family needs first or some other sacrifice, thinking and fearing that they would not be able to earn enough by doing what they love. Also, some people don't dare to go for the person they love because they are afraid of rejection, or that they are not worthy enough, or some other excuse. Even if they do love but secretly, they are unable to fully express their love, withal depreciating it by intoxicating it with all sorts of negative low spirits, such as fear, frustration, dissatisfaction, resentment, misery, despondency, dissatisfaction, remorse and masochism, and so they do damage to themselves as well as to the object of love. At this point, we won't go into all the grounds behind self-sabotage, because the point here is to bring awareness to the reasons why it is important to love as opposed to denying oneself love.

It is important for us to love for our own good also because our love makes it possible to achieve things that otherwise wouldn't be possible or available. If you do what you love and perform your duties out of love and with love, you will achieve greater results than someone who performs his only for the sake of some interests, money or because it has to be done. Besides, when we choose love instead of some negative emotion, we feel peace instead of anxiety, aggravation or stress. That’s why love is more important to us than to the objects of our love.

Being in love modus for an extended period is likely to give you superpowers. For one, superhuman physical strength. You must have heard true stories of panic-stricken supermoms llifting up a heavy vehicle to save their trapped children. It's not just parents who manifest hyper strength; people who are in love do it as well, whether they love what they do, something, or someone. Such display of physical superpowers usually occurs when people are in life-and-death situations, rescuing their loved ones, whereas extraordinary spiritual strength is manifest in all the people who spend much of their time in the love modus, who cultivate the virtue of love.

Some might argue that it is not love but fear that triggers superhuman strength, which can be disputed by other situations when people were confronted with danger with no show of superpowers, but that could be said about love too, though, it is known that fear paralyzes and love does not, quite the contrary. It is unknown what accounts for feats of superhuman strength like these, but one theory is that we are essentially, quite simply, stronger than we realize.

Some theorize that we normally use only a small percentage of our capabilities. We all have latent strength within us, but only very specific situations bring it out. When someone we love is confronted with danger, we transcend our perceived limitations and simply unlock the strength that was always there.

A hard-to-calculate, but giant factor behind extraordinary strength is, of course, motivation. Love and survival count among the greatest motivational drives. A key factor in pushing the body to extremes is the well-known "adrenaline rush". During an adrenaline-fueled situation, the body's pain sensitivity and vulnerability seem to fall. One other chemical responsible for a mighty euphoric state is the love hormone oxytocin, which lowers fear and makes you more confident and ecstatic. When you love someone or something, while actually in that mode, the oxytocin gets released in your system, increasing your tolerance for physical pain and stamina.

Another benefit of love is that your creativity may be sparked with it. When you're in love, your creativity is ignited, as you easily come up with creative ideas. Researchers concluded that people who love something or someone focus on the long-term, as opposed to the short-term objectives, thus venturing into their projects and passions with a more holistic approach that spurs creativity. In other words, normally you might be overanalyzing, but when you're in love, you allow yourself to dream a little more.

Love can also alleviate chronic pain. It may work just as well as medication at reducing chronic pain, according to a 2010 Stanford University School of Medicine study and many others. Intense feelings of love act as painkillers, say researchers. Doctors aren't quite ready to prescribe love affairs as replacements for drugs but are looking into the neural pathways triggered by love for developing new methods to treat pain.

More good news for men who decide to couple up: numerous studies have found that men in stable relationships or marriages, with loving or emotionally supportive women, have stronger bones.

Love is also good because it breeds many other virtues: enthusiasm, passion, optimism, hope, charity, kindness, generosity, selflessness, nobleness, altruism, compassion, empathy, gratitude, politeness, loveliness, joy, contentment, appreciation, affection, affability, cordiality, courtesy, commitment, devotion, humbleness... In fact, all the virtues are rooted in love.

Love develops skills: for emotion management, stress management, communication...

Love relieves many problems such as loneliness, alienation, arguments...

REASONS TO LOVE
You don't have any reasons to love?
If you think no one is worthy of your love, you should know you ought to love for your own sake, not for the other’s.
bullet  
Health – you should love because love makes you more resistant  to disease. All chronic illnesses are caused by psychosomatic factors. When we are engrossed in anything opposite of love, energy blockage is created in our body. This causes immunity to weaken and many other disorders, including cancer. If instead of hate, vengeance or any other negative emotion, we feel love towards someone, then energy blockage is removed and the circulation of oxygen, blood and other liquids is unobstructed, which allows health.
bullet  

bullet  
"The most effective beauty product is love."
– Jean-Paul Belmondo
 
Beauty – love makes us more beautiful. People who love, they glow and radiate beautiful energy.
Interpersonal relationships – what makes love so loved and desirable is its power to bring people together. Besides, those who perform their duties towards others with love, whether in business or any other environment, will achieve better results and relationships than those who perform them without love.
bullet  
Wealth – you should love because love brings money. A person who performs his duties with love has way bigger chances to get a promotion or to achieve more than his unloving and calculating colleagues. That implies bigger chances for making a profit.
Love is worth more than money. Money, in the form of bills, can't make us happy. What makes us happy is the things we can buy with that money. We want those things in order to be happier and have more love in our life. Therefore, we can skip all that if we manage to achieve pleasure and love without these things. Love is much easier to obtain than money or fortune, which we only want so that we could love and be loved anyway.
bullet  
Happiness and success – through love, we take responsibility, and with it the power over our lives. A person who can influence his ability to love can also influence all other abilities in life that enable happiness and success.
bullet   Peace and freedom can only be achieved when we are free from expectations, beliefs, fears and other demons. True love has the power to tame them. Where true love is, there is no room for phony demons.
 

Love is like air or food, without which we can't really live. A life without true love is a wasted life, lacking true joy and filled with sorrow. We all need love, even though some of us think we don't. Therefore, we must love, as much as we must breathe or eat in order to live.
When we live in a city and have no access to unpolluted air, we breathe what’s there, what we can get. When we’re hungry, we don't always eat perfect meals. The same goes for love, something or somebody doesn't need to be perfect or "unpolluted" so we could love it/him/her. The important thing is that we love. We don't breathe in the air because it’s worth breathing in, neither do we eat food because of the food. Love is the same – we love for our own sake, not to do anyone a favor.

Therefore, don't wait for the "perfect" or faultless person, don't seek flawlessness because it doesn't exist. Embrace someone and all those who provide you with conditions to love.

Love is essential to our emotional health, and so to the overall health because most physical disorders and diseases are psychosomatic (caused by or notably influenced by an emotional factor, such as lack of love). Everyone has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. The most basic emotional need is the need for love, namely for affection, the sense of belonging and being wanted. With a sufficient supply of love and affection, every human being develops into a fulfilled person. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially challenged.

There are various medications and therapies for psychological problems, but none of them are really necessary because the best therapy comes down to self-love, said Louise Hay. Many people think that they love themselves enough, but are not aware that this is not really true, because, in truth, they love and please other dear people more at the expense of themselves, since they neglect their own needs which is not an expression of self-love. Another evidence that many people don't love themselves is that they subject themselves to various toxic influences without regard for their own health. For instance, some pregnant women keep away from smoking places so as to avoid smoke harming their unborn baby, but normally, for their own good, they don't do it – they tolerate too much, not knowing that it is against loving oneself.

To be in love and to love is not the same!!!
Our most basic emotional need is not to be in love (euphoric, obsessed, blind, unable to concentrate at work ...), but to love and to be loved, to live in the love that emanates not only from the emotional and physical impulses but also from the mind and the soul. True love cannot begin to develop until after the state of being in love, but infatuation does not necessarily turn into true love, nor is infatuation a prerequisite for true love. So, as to be able to reach true love, it is very important not to reduce it by confusing it with – crush, infatuation, attraction, lust, obsession, passion, fascination, admiration, affection, devotion, fondness and others.

We all have an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. An empty ‘love tank’ is the main reason behind the misbehavior of both children and adults (including criminal acts). Each such act is an act of craving or cry for filling the ‘love tank’. The way to prevent others from (further) misbehaving is not punishment or threats but ‘filling their love tank’. Keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to humans as is maintaining the proper oil level to an automobile. Running your life on an empty ‘love tank’ may cost you more than driving your car without oil, say the experts.

Most people expect others to fill the ‘love tank’ for them, they think they need others to love them so they would become happy and successful, and this belief makes them do anything, even sin. However, as we will disclose later, true love is easier and better to get from another source than from people. Still, it is great to be loved by others and even greater to love others, to fill their ‘love tanks’.

You can avoid all kinds of conflicts by regularly ‘filling the love tank’ of other people. However, to fill somebody’s ‘love tank’, you need to fill it with the appropriate type. In fact, what you take as an expression of love, it does not necessarily apply to others, and it’s because there are five different languages of love (within which there are several "dialects"). For someone’s need for love to be really satisfied, it should be communicated in the "language" in which that person is able to receive love. Otherwise the ‘love tank’ wouldn't be filled. More on those languages later.

Why to love

 

 

"The hardest fibre must melt in the fire of love. If it does not melt, it is because the fire is not strong enough."
– Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 


– Deepak Chopra

For others’ sake

"Love, when genuine and deep, forgives and forgets easily."
– Ivo Andrić (Nobel Prize laureate for Literature)
 

We need to love to transform the others for the better. There’s not one person in the world who we love that will never do us any wrong. It’s a natural process of polarity shifts. The easiest approach to someone, who harmed us, is to hate, reproach, revenge and punish. But who benefits from that? Nobody. This makes us full of bitterness, frustration, anger, restlessness, health issues, etc., while the other person learns nothing except maybe that what they did was bad (which they probably already knew). All those who punished or took revenge on someone can confirm the fact that surprisingly one doesn't feel better afterward, but worse, especially if a loved one is involved.

If instead, we show to that person that we are not like he is, but much better because we have enough love, compassion, forgiving, peace and other virtues to show for, that would be an incentive or inspiration for that person to see his mistake, ask us for forgiveness and never do that again. All of that couldn't be accomplished if we approached in a degrading manner expressing hate, revenge, and punishment. Therefore, through love, we help another person become a better person instead of letting them make the same mistakes and suffer. It must be clear, loving doesn't mean allowing bad behavior for the sake of love, but choosing a constructive instead of destructive approach in supporting the person to learn from his mistakes, repent, apologize and atone.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
 

You must have heard of the very popular research of a Japanese team led by Doctor of Alternative Medicine Masaru Emoto, which has shown that when we send good vibrations to someone or something (e.g. water), we change the molecular structure in the makeup of that person or liquid using our positive thoughts and words. More than 80 % of our body are fluids, so we can transform every evil into good with our love and other good vibrations. Take a look at a clip from this movie, which shows that on an example of blessed water molecules:

"Love is the power that binds the universe, that harmonises, that creates without destroying, and then enhances every aspect of a person’s life. And loved blesses not just those who receive, but perhaps even more, those who give."
– Sir John Marks Templeton
 

All experts agree that one of the main reasons people take up drugs, crime, overeating, and other degrading activities, is the lack of love. All parents love their children, nevertheless, many children become drug addicts and criminals. How so? Because those children don't feel loved. They might know their parents or others love them, but they don't feel it. The problem may be in the children (regardless of age), but in most cases, the problem is really in parents because they don't know how to express their love in the language the child would understand and receive (there are five languages of love – more on that coming up). We can also say it’s not even the parents’ fault because no one had taught them either how to show or express love properly. But we are not here to point fingers but to offer solutions.

 

"I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did?'"
– Mother Theresa

Inspirational Story

Love, Wealth and Success

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?" they asked. "No", she said. "He’s out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in," he said.

The woman went out and invited the men in. "We do not go into a house together," they replied. "Why is that?" she wanted to know. One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!" he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the three old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest." Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and followed him.

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, why are you coming in?" The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him."

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
– H. L. Mencken

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The Constructive Force of Love

"Imagination is the beginning of creation."
– G. B. Shaw
 
Love is a constructive force. With love, anything is possible.
Love has the power to construct your desired reality.
Love has a creative power – creativity derives from love.
Love and imagination are a mighty couple. They create everything we conceive.

All the great works, whether in the field of arts, science, or technology, were all created with love and imagination. All the great inventions and creations which make our lives today easier and nicer weren't a result of knowledge but of virtues such as love and imagination.

Imagine. Feel. Receive.

Anything you want to accomplish or manifest in your life, you can do it effortlessly by using the power of love, imagination and other virtues. They will prompt you to take the needed steps for self-realization without any effort. Without imagination and love, your dreams cannot come true. With love and imagination, the impossible becomes possible.

Decide for yourself what you’re going to love, instead of loving what’s expected of you and what the media wants you to love. Don't let them fool you and deceive you.
Think with your own head, and feel with your own heart.

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice."
– W.J. Bryan 
 

Anything you can imagine, you can have it as long as you love it with all your heart and soul – it is a sign that it is meant for you. Everything else – knowledge, money, support, time, effort – all of that will show up if imagination and love are in harmony and at full power.

The power of true love lies in its constructive force, which takes manifold forms, such as creative, healing and transformative. Love has power because it creates, heals and transforms, and above all because it subordinates one's ego, which is the main obstacle to long-term success and happiness. When your consciousness rises to the level of true love, it becomes a potent magnet that can attract and achieve anything. By harnessing this power of true love, you are can achieve all your goals that are aligned with your mission in life and with the greatest good for all.

The constructive force of love is especially expressive in the workplace. Work is man's special opportunity to be constructive, to contribute notably to the world and realize the meaning of own life. Further below is the answer to how to love what you do »

Inspirational Story

The Solution To All Problems

Once there was a scholar who was an adviser to many people; with his wise advices he got them out of all sorts of difficulties and helped them heal, become rich and to get along with all people. At the beginning of his career, he visited the wise Nana so as to get an one-off advice that coild solve every problem.

"Nana, is there an advice to which all the other ones are reduced, which could apply to all the problems that people have?"

"Love."


The lesson: When you approach any problem with love, ie. from the center of love, you will get constructive ideas for a solution. Instead of resorting to worry, fear, anger, bitterness, vengefulness and other destructive approaches, rise above the situation to the level of unconditional love, and that will attract a solution.

 

 


+ pdf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The Art of Loving

In his book “The Art of Loving” renowned psychoanalyst Erich Fromm has written:
  • If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
  • If I perceive in another person mainly the surface, I perceive mainly the differences, that which separates us. If I penetrate to the core, I perceive our identity, the fact of our brotherhood. This relatedness from the center to center – instead of that from the periphery to periphery – is 'central relatedness'.
  • To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go.
  • God explains to Jonah that the essence of love is to “labor” for something and “to make something grow”.
  • I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me.
  • Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men, which unites him with others; love makes him overcome the sense of isolation
  • Love should be essentially an act of will, of the decision to commit my life completely to that of one other person.

Some people don't take much to love someone or something, while others even if you please them immensely, you will never make them love you or something. Why is it so and what separates those two kinds of people? Mainly, it is up to the dominant facet of a person – reason, heart or soul. The masters of the art of loving are those who allow their soul to lead them, whereas those who follow their heart or their reason fall behind, they fall in love, instead of surrender to love. Emotional people fall in love easier than rational people. Soulful people fall in love by letting their ego fall behind to accommodate the other, which is a noble act of surrendering, which ranks higher on the scale of consciousness than any other virtue, including love itself.

The reason, despite all its good sides, prevents many people to be at ease and love. "Why should we love someone whom we don't know or who irritates us?" wonder the intellects who need a rational reason to love. The wiser ones, who let themselves love without reasons, have much more pleasure in life than those who seek a rational reason for everything. If we only love according to a principle 'quid pro quo' (as long as you fulfill my needs, I will give you my love), then it’s not real love, it’s rather a calculation or a trade. The reason is like that, prone to calculate, search for logic, and by being like that it limits us and hampers us.

Love is not business, so stop being calculable in love, stop keeping scores, trying to win (arguments...) or anything else your reason tends to do. Reason and love are not compatible because one divides and the other unites.
Here's a look at what some others have to say about that:

  • "When love speaks, reason is silent." – Baruch Spinoza
  • "Love's the noblest frailty of the mind." – John Dryden
  • "In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing." – Mignon McLaughlin
  • "Try to reason about love and you will lose your reason." – French proverb
  • "One can not love and be reasonable." – Spanish proverb
  • "A love led by reason rarely blossoms!" – German proverb
  • "To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness." – Robert Brault

For especially reasonable people, who reasonably weigh the various relations, guided by reasonable reasons, it is more difficult for them to love others since human reason easily finds the negative sides that are difficult to love.

The heart is a channel for love. Some people are more inclined to be guided by what their heart desires, so for them, it is easier to love others regardless of the facts, which reasoning otherwise takes into account. When we strongly love, our heart beats stronger. Excitement grows, as well as passion. We are smitten by sublime feelings. We lose our minds. Nothing else matters to us. Love is stronger than reason. With love, all the difficulties and obstacles are irrelevant and surmountable.

The soul is the divine in us, that which is created in the image and likeness of God. If God is the epitome of love, so is the soul. We can truly love only when we let our soul govern us. As long as our reason (intellect) or heart is in charge, we will be held back and limited. The soul makes us love fully and unconditionally. Those people who do whatever their soul dictates (through conscience, intuition, sixth sense, inspiration, ideas, imagination, instincts, vision, dreams, "coincidences", signs, etc.), for them, it is the easiest to love, they don't need to make an effort to love because for them loving comes naturally.

One of the reasons why some people can love easier than the others is also karma. We cannot persuade anyone to love something or someone (ie. us) if it is not in accordance with natural laws. The Art of Loving is, at its core, the art of aligning with the Higher Power and the natural laws.  

I am not afraid to tell you, 'I love you'.
Your mind may say 'How can you love me when you don't even know me?'.
I don't need to know you. I don't need to justify my love. I love you because this is my pleasure. Love coming out of me makes me happy, and it’s not important if you reject me because I don't reject myself. In my story, I live in an ongoing romance, and everything is beautiful for me. To live in love is to be alive again. When you recover your integrity, you always follow love. You live your life as an eternal romance because when you love yourself, it is easy to love everyone else. You love so much that you don't need anyone else’s love to make you happy.
– Don Miguel Ruiz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
...
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

(I. Corinthians 13)

 

    HOW TO LOVE

Expansion of Consciousness
“Love said to me, there is nothing that is not me.”

“When in Love, body, mind, heart and soul don't even exist.”

– Jalaluddin Rumi

First of all, you need to transcend the concept of love in your consciousness – move love from your head and heart to your spirit and beyond. Expand your love from your head and heart to the whole of your being. That means, you need to stop limiting your love to something that represents just an occasional state of your mind or an occasional emotion to seeing it as your actual inborn virtue. Expand your view of love from a mere emotion or state of mind to seeing it as a holistic virtue of yours.

In your expanded consciousness, allow love to be more, to be not just something you feel, think or express, but something you actually are – accept the fact that you are the embodiment of love.

Allow the love to radiate from you like a scent emanating from a flower. Let the odor of love fill the air around you wherever you are, not because the world around you deserves it, but because it is simply part of your nature. If you are a good person regardless of how others are, then you should also be a loving person, no matter what, unconditionally.

There is no denying it, love is indeed an emotion, and it can be a state of mind too, but it becomes a virtue once you transcend the limitations and impurities of your heart and mind and bring your pure love to a whole new level, where it becomes more than any of that, where it becomes your nature, a part of your character. It was your nature all along but you didn't see it that way, you didn't own it.

Once you take it as your virtue rather just as a mere emotion or a state of mind, once you own it like you own your goodness or honesty, you are free to live it rather than just feel it or think of it or express it from time to time here and there. Once you own love as your virtue, as your character trait and as your commodity, so to speak, then it ceases to be a temporary thing and becomes your nature on which you base all your decisions, goals and actions. You then operate from a place of love, rather than ego, that is, from a place of strength, rather than weakness.

Love is a decision-making process. Everything in life is a choice, including love. Whatever happens in life, you can always choose to respond one way or another, which makes all the difference.  You can always choose to act from a place of love or a place of ego. Every moment is a choice. Once you accept the truth that you are the master or creator of your reality, then you have a foundation on which you can build your reality as you please.


How to Love Yourself

You can love yourself, no matter what, by getting to know your soul, which is perfect, full of love and worthy of love. You don't have to always love every single part of your body, all of your intellectual abilities, your behavior in all situations, but behind everything, behind all your facades is your core, your soul that deserves love because it is that part of you which was created in the image of the perfect Creator.

Who is the one in you who does the loving, do you know? Physical heart? Your brain? Your mind? With what do you love? Apart from the heart, aren't also the other parts of your body and your Self in play? What do you love when you love yourself? Why wouldn't you love yourself? Find these answers in the depths of your soul and you will discover an inexhaustible source of love.

Everyone has their good sides and their bad sides because the law of polarity is manifested in everyone. Having both positive and negative traits is natural, normal, and useful. If you think you have no reason to love yourself, it’s only because your mind is limited and conditioned so that it perceives mostly the negative traits, overlooking the positive ones. The human constitution is such that it has both poles in equal measure, but the human mind is conditioned to see one more than the other.

Everyone has a spark worthy of love inside of them. In many people, that part of them is so repressed it’s hard to identify it, but with a little will power, it’s possible to uncover it and reinvent oneself. Get to know your inner self by opening up to your soul, to that irrational and illogical part of you. Find that beautiful part of yourself and love it. Then, spread your love bit by bit across your entire being. Allow your soul to take charge of your mind, emotions, and body, then they will transform for the better, and you’ll find it easy to love them too.

"The degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you will be able to extend love to others."
– Paul Mauchline
 

If you love a rose, you love its thorn too.

Most people take their self-love only so far, not bothering to take it any further, but it is time you do it now. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with narcissism or vanity. The degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which others will be able to love you, too. Most people give love and appreciation to certain parts of their body and mind, neglecting the other ones for some reason. It is time to fix that. It is great if you love your hair, your eyes, your brains, your whatever, but don't stop there. Extend your love to other parts and aspects of your being. Have you ever thought of loving your, say, liver or your bones? Why not? They are as important and as worthy of your love. Next time you relax your body, take time to love each part of it, including internal ones. Do that also with intangible parts of yourself. Find a way to love those parts you normally don't, knowing that there is good in very bad, and that duality is illusory – there is no such thing as worthy or unworthy of love.

One of the reasons why some people do not love themselves is that they confuse self-love with a variety of flaws such as narcissism, selfishness, haughtiness, arrogance, egoism, vanity and the like. This delusion hinders them to love themselves properly. Unconsciously or consciously, they deny the needs of their soul and inhibit feelings of self-love, not knowing that none of us can love anyone truly if we don't love ourselves, because internal love is a prerequisite for the love of anything external. It is impossible to truly love anyone or anything unless we love ourselves; in such case, the love outwards will always be expressed as a synonym of love and not as true love, it will always be shadowed by various negative connotations.

Don't overlook this, don't be ashamed of loving yourself, don't be too humble – don't hold off loving yourself thinking it’s less important than anything else, because everything else will be hard to accomplish and harmonize if you deny yourself love. When you deny yourself love, at the same time you deny yourself other things you love. If you don't love yourself, others will find it hard to love you, too. So, acknowledge your soul and love it HERE AND NOW!

Video on importance of self-love is below in the Video Section as well as on youTube.
 

How to Love What You Do

If you can't do what you love, then you should love what you do. You have an inherent power to love everything unconditionally. If you are unaware of it, then you just need to activate it – more on that coming up. The more you spend your life cherishing love, the more love-worthy opportunities and circumstances will life present you.

Some people love their job only because they earn good money with it. In other words, because it provides the means to security and luxuries, however, this is not real love. They actually love the money, not the job, because if the pay were significantly reduced, they wouldn't love it any longer. This illusory love needs to be addressed; it needs to be transcended.

Work is man's special opportunity to be constructive, to contribute notably to the world and realize the meaning of own life. Each of us is made for something, we have a personal life mission that can be carried out through our work. For a meaningful life and for achieving long-term success, both personal and that of the company you are working for, it’s of great importance to love the job you do, your colleagues, bosses, and clients. At first, many of you will reject the idea of having to love your clients as well as your colleagues and bosses, especially if they are nasty people. Most of you think it’s already too much to ask to put up with them. At that, you might use very well the excuse that they haven't deserved your love, so to once again remind you of the most basic tenet on the way to ultimate fortune: you should love them not because they deserve it, but because you deserve it – you deserve to be in a glorious state of love without which there is no ultimate well-being.

By consciously maintaining the vibrations of true love, primarily you do good to yourself because you create a magnetic field around you, which attracts anything you set your heart on. Regardless of your current circumstances, for your own good, it’s important for you to maintain the vibration of love as much as possible – to find something you can love in what you do and in those who you do it with and for. By emanating love (instead of negative vibrations) you attract what you love to yourself, you are sowing a good seed so that you could have a good harvest, you create good karma, and you become closer to your goals and ultimate success. Without love for your work, there is no lasting success. Love is the path and the key to success.

Therefore, love what you do by focusing on the positive aspects of work, instead of just on the negative ones. Find the meaning in your work, make your job meaningful. The negatives have a meaning too, without them you would not have tried hard enough to change, improve and advance. If you are in it just for the money, if the money is all you love about your job, then you are on the wrong path, the path of suffering. Either change the job or your perspective. You are free to love money, but make it your means, not the meaning. Everything, including your work, has its positive and negative side. You need to embrace and love them both because together they create the dynamics necessary for development. Don't be blind to the positive aspects of your work, which are surely worth loving. The negative aspects are worth loving too because they contribute to the dynamism that enables development. Remember, you should love your work not because it is worthy of love, but because you are worthy of love – you love it so that you could feel good and use love’s constructive powers for achieving your goals and dreams..

Here is how to love what you do:

  • Open yourself to the possibility that there is something love-worthy in what you do, not just in what you get out of it. Recognize the good you do to others with it, what value you bring to the world that could get you to love it.
  • Convince yourself that you’re capable of loving both sides of what you do. Don't forget that there is a positive side in the negative one too (eg. a lesson or incentive to change), so you just need to recognize it by seeing beyond the obvious and acting from the level of the soul. Think of something you don't like about what you do and try to love it, just like that, with no logic, with no reward – convince yourself that you can do it. You can convince yourself by finding out who else loves that, why do they love it and how.
  • Become aware of all the (new) positive sides of what you do. Look at it from all sides, see it from a new perspective, and view it from every angle. Expand your horizons, see what you haven't seen so far.
  • Find new associations for what you do. If so far you’ve been associating with it the terms like boring, difficult, meaningless, useless, complicated or anything else carrying bad connotations, then find new, more exciting and more positive associations now, which don't have to be opposite of the previous ones. It would be enough if you associate what you do with something positive instead of something negative that makes it hard to love, or disables you in enjoying what you do.
  • Become aware of what values are enforced by doing what you do. Even if what you do gives you no satisfaction by the mere act of doing it, when you realize that you’re contributing to a higher purpose and that your work promotes certain values, it will be easier for you to love it. Let’s say you need to do some ironing and you find it boring. Just remember, for example, how your children will look neat and tidy tomorrow, as well as present your family as a family that finds those values important.
  • Become aware of the virtues that you strengthen by doing what you do. Some jobs don't have as much value in their outcomes as in what they animate in us and what virtues are activated when we do them. For example, if your job is to iron clothes, but you don't care that much about anyone looking neat and tidy, then find virtues that are strengthened by ironing. In the future, perceive ironing as an opportunity to make your certain virtues stronger, which will also help you achieve success in other areas. For example, by ironing you can strengthen your virtues of meticulousness, patience, concentration, adroitness, etc.
  • Be creative and create conditions in which you can love what you do. Decorate and beautify the space in which you do what you do, play your favorite music, get an aquarium or a plant with beautiful flowers…
  • Simplify whatever is possible when it comes to circumstances related to what you do. We, people, tend to overcomplicate and induce stress where it need not be. The simpler something is, the easier it is to love it.
  • Try to see if you can delegate some unwanted tasks of what you do to someone else. For example, if you do ironing and you hate ironing shirts but you don't mind ironing other things, then iron everything you like and find someone else to do the shirts.
  • See if during your work you could do something you find pleasant at the same time – listen to music or audiobooks, daydream, make plans, meet interesting people, learn something useful…
  • Avoid dwelling upon negative thoughts and emotions related to what you do. There will always be some reasons for dissatisfaction in everything we do, which we can't avoid – some issues with colleagues, negative situations, thoughts and emotions will come up. But what we can avoid is dwelling upon it. With the help of your free will and some virtues, try to get rid of those thoughts and emotions as soon as they arise – turn a different channel, so to speak. As soon as you notice yourself entering a negative condition, decide to change it right away and move on to some other, desirable condition. You have the power to influence yourself and your reactions. Remind yourself of something positive in it, or of something else you love, and try to hang on to that as long as possible, until the circumstance, which caused the negative thoughts and emotions, passes. Everything does pass eventually.

 

 

 

"The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love."
 – Henry Miller
 

 

 

 

"Love enters man through his eyes, woman through her ears."
– Polish proverb
 

 

How to love others
how to express love to others

We love different things and beings in different ways, some more, some less. But, essentially, love is characterized by properties which are the same in all forms of love. Here are some of the ways we express love:

  • we are emotional, sensitive, gentle, kind, nice, polite, noble, generous, honest, fair, etc. to the object of our love;
  • we transmit feeling of comfort and warmth;
  • we feel compassion, understanding and regard;
  • we only want to best for the object of our love;
  • we expect nothing in return;
  • we show our objects of love how important and valuable they are by giving them our undivided attention;
  • we gladly listen;
  • we take/make time for the object of our love;
  • we express our love with kind words;
  • we smile and laugh;
  • we don't impose anything.
Love Gestures:
  • Gentle looks full of love and appreciation
  • Hugs, especially in hard times (instead of criticism)
  • Fondling, cuddling
  • Kisses
  • Touching or holding hands
  • Unexpected, nice gestures which you know will make your loved one happy
  • Compliments
  • Saying “I love you” or “I love the way you are” or the like
  • Sending love messages – do something romantic right now. Send a love message or poem to someone you love.
  • Showing generosity, tolerance, and understanding
  • Making time for loved ones
  • Providing intimacy, closeness and a sense of belonging
     

Did you know that there are five languages of love? As people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. More often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. It is necessary to develop a better understanding of our and our loved ones’ primary language of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate’s love language, and in no time, you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. First 2 chapters of the book »
What is your language of love and of those you love? Discover it with this free test »

Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love:

  1. Quality Time – undivided attention, making time for the loved ones; physical presence in the time of crisis, togetherness...
  2. Words of Affirmation – spoken praise, compliments, statements of love...
  3. Receiving Gifts – the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gifts (symbols of love, like flowers or chocolates). This doesn't mean that (s)he loves you for the gift, but because it’s her/his language of love.
  4. Acts of Service – for many people actions speak louder than words; doing things for and instead of your loved one, like house chores or taking them where they need to go...
  5. Physical Touch – sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need; massage, intimacy...

Loving vs. Showing Love
We are born with and out of love. The virtue of love is inborn in every human being. That is why we don't need to learn it, only activate it and cultivate it. All of us were born with love ingrained in us, just as with all vital organs, but the problem is, somewhere in the process of growing up and getting manipulated, we shift our love from people toward material things, status, acknowledgement, success, etc. That also breeds fear – the fear that we won't be able to achieve and afford ourselves those things we love (and think we need). Therefore, to get them, we give more attention to them than to our loved ones. That’s where problems arise. But with a re-shift they end.

Between busy schedules and our many concerns and chores, expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to grant a smile for no reason, give gifts for no occasion, to linger in our embrace... The things that say “I love you” seem to either not get said or not get through. This needs to change. Just like yourself, your loved ones, too, need to be constantly reminded that you love them, but in their language of love.


In Romantic Relationships
If love is not properly articulated and one of the partners doesn't feel loved, (s)he will subconsciously make up for the lack of love with food (especially sweets), shopping, various opiates, maybe even with an affair. So, make sure to fill the "love tank" of your loved one by expressing your love clearly, as you would want your loved one do it to you. To do this, use the knowledge of the languages of love.

Many rich guys accuse their partners of being with them only for their money, or rather for the gifts. Even if that is really the case, whose fault is that? If the guys were charming, thoughtful, and all those things their women love, they wouldn't be with them just for the money, but mainly for those qualities. A woman who is satisfied by thoughtful gestures doesn't need gifts, especially not expensive ones.

However, as we mentioned earlier, there are five languages of love, one of which being Receiving Gifts. The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gifts. Those individuals whose primary language of love is that, they prefer partners who express their love through gifts. Nothing wrong with that. Visible or tangible symbols of love are more important to some people than to the others. This does not mean that (s)he loves you because of the gifts, but because it is her/his primary language of love. For this type of people expressing love is always an act of giving.

That is their language of love, not because they chose it but because they might have been born with it, or they might not have received enough presents from their parents, or the opposite – from childhood they might have been used to receiving love through presents. Therefore, you can't blame them for that, rather understand it is their primary language of love.

Meet the emotional needs of your partner by expressing your love in the language of love that this person understands as an expression of love – words, gifts, services, quality time spent together, or touching. Also, teach your loved one to do the same for you. When the emotional needs of both partners are met, the relationship takes a whole new dimension.

"Neither love nor fire can subsist without perpetual motion."
– François de La Rochefoucauld
 

Therefore, our advice is to show your love (towards anyone) more and better, and in a way that it is obvious to the other person or persons, that they know you truly love them – so they can feel it, not just know about it. Above are some gestures and languages of love.
Ask people you love, one by one, whether they can feel your love or they just know you love them. You’ll be surprised how often others perceive you differently than you think or how you present yourself.

"It’s not enough to plant love, you should also water it." German proverb

Za roditelje

Mnogi roditelji smatraju da time što teško rade i zarađuju kako bi svojoj djeci mogli priuštiti sve ono što oni nisu mogli imati kad su bili mali, očituju svoju ljubav. Može biti. Ali gledaju li i djeca tako na to? Osjećaju li djeca da su time voljena? Mnoge mame koje se žrtvuju tako što osim na poslu, rade i kod kuće, misle da time što od jutra do mraka podređuju svoje potrebe obiteljskim potrebama pokazuju da vole svoju obitelj. Točno. Ali to nije dovoljno. Ljubav koja se izražava uglavnom kroz kuhanje, spremanje, zarađivanje, odvođenje na aktivnosti itd, a manje kroz geste ljubavi kao što su tople riječi, zagrljaji itd., nije ono što djeci treba kako bi stasali u uravnotežene osobe pune ljubavi.

Imaš li djecu koja te stalno gnjave da im kupuješ nove stvari?
Naravno, sva djeca žele lijepe igračke, ali kad njihovi prohtjevi počnu prelaziti granice umjerenosti i uljudnosti, onda znajte da tom djetetu nedostaje ljubavi i smijeha u životu, što želi nadoknaditi stvarima koje voli. Na svakome od nas je da odlučimo hoćemo li svoju ljubav pokazivati više kroz kupovanje, ili kroz geste. Naravno da je ponekad lakše nešto kupiti i tako zadovoljiti dijete na neko vrijeme, pogotovo kad smo umorni i sami nesretni pa nemamo energije ni volje upuštati se u nešto zahtjevnije izražavanje svoje ljubavi kroz geste. No kad to 'ponekad' preraste u 'većinom', tada nastaju problemi. Stoga treba gledati da svoju ljubav što više pokazujemo gestama ljubavi.

Ako vam djete često nešto poklanja, zamotava darove i predaje ih s posebnim sjajem u očima, primarni jezik ljubavi vašeg djeteta je vjerovatno primanje darova. Daje, jer želi da dobija. Ako zapažate da vaš sin i kćerka stalno pomažu mlađem bratu ili sestri, to znači da je njegov ili njezin primarni jezik ljubavi djela ljubavi, male usluge iz ljubavi. Ako vam često govori da dobro izgledate ili kako ste dobra majka ili otac, kako ste sjajno nešto obavili, to pokazuje da je njegov ili njezin primarni jezik ljubavi izražavanje priznanja. Kod djeteta se sve ovo događa na nivou podsvijesti. Ono ne razmišlja svjesno da će biti maženo, ako pomazi oca ili majku, da će dobiti poklon kada ga daje, već je njegovo ponašanje pokrenuto njegovim emocionalnim težnjama.

Loše ocjene
Mnogi roditelji čine grešku kad svoju djecu prekoravaju ili tuku zbog loših ocjena. Time pokazuju djetetu da su im važnije ocjene od njega samog, da im je važniji uspjeh djeteta nego samo dijete i da dijete nije vrijedno (ljubavi) ako ima loše ocjene. Takvo se dijete sigurno ne osjeća voljenim. Svako dijete je dovoljno razumno da razumije da je loša ocjena loša stvar. I ono se samo zbog toga osjeća dovoljno loše, i upravo mu u takvoj situaciji ponajviše treba ljubavi i podrške. Ako umjesto toga dobije samo prijekore i kazne, lako moguće je da će se dijete osjećati nevoljenim i postati žrtvom onih koji ga zbog ocjena ne osuđuju, među kojima su i raspačivači droga, klošari i slični.

Bolji način hvatanja ukoštac s lošim ocjenama bi bio: prvo pitati dijete kako se ono osjeća, pa ako se osjeća nesretnim, pokazati mu neku gestu suosjećanja, ljubavi i nade – zagrliti ga, utješiti toplim riječima punim ljubavi. Objasniti mu da ocjene nisu mjerilo njegove vrijednosti, ali mu olakšavaju put u društvu jer će mu one pomoći dobiti mjesto u društvu koje priželjkuje, iako postoje i ostali načini uklapanja u društvo. Pitaj ga je li nešto naučio iz tog iskustva – da se trebao bolje pripremiti, bolje slušati na satu, pisati sve zadaće, provesti više vremena u učenju ili možda učiti na učinkovitiji način i slično. Ohrabri ga da to sprovede drugom prilikom i daj mu nadu da će imati prilike ili ispraviti ocjenu, ili u sljedećim testovima pokazati koliko doista zna i koliko je napredovao. Ako je, recimo, stvar u tome da nije uspio sve memorirati, reci mu da ćeš mu pomoći i poučiti ga tehnikama pamćenja (postoje knjige u knjižnicama) ili ga uputiti da se sam pouči.   Opširnije »

Imaš li dijete koje se drogira, ili krade, ili se druži s huliganima, ili je pregojazno?
Nemoj se ljutiti kad ti kažemo da je dio krivice i u vama roditeljima. Zašto neko dijete podilazi onome čemu ne bi smio? U velikoj mjeri je to jedna vrsta revolta protiv okoline (ponajviše roditelja) koja ga, bilo zanemaruje, bilo sputava. Ako neko dijete ne osjeća ljubav u roditeljskom domu, ono će je tražiti u društvu, u hrani i drugim stvarima, ili će tražiti bijeg iz nepoželjne stvarnosti u drogama. Nije dovoljno voljeti svoje dijete, već je potrebno svoju ljubav pokazati tako da je dijete osjeti.
Alternativa je ponuditi djeci neki hobi koji mogu zavoljeti i zbog kojeg i sami mogu biti voljeni – sport, umjetnost – glazba, ples, crtanje...

Imaš li djete koje krši norme seksualnog ponašanja
Neki psihijatri tvrde na temelju dugogodišnje prakse ljecenja adolescenata koji su posrnuli na seksualnom podrucju, da nikada nisu sreli adolescenta, koji je kršio norme seksualnog ponašanja, ciji su roditelji zadovoljili njegovu emocionalnu potrebu za ljubavlju. Prema njihovom dubokom uvjerenju, svako seksualno pogrešno ponašanje adolescenata ima svoj korijen u praznom emocionalnom rezervoaru ljubavi. Rješenje nije kazna ni sputavanje, nego otkrivanje njegovog primarnog jezika ljubavi (lako moguće da je to dodir) i potom izražavanje ljubavi tim jezikom kako bi mu se rezervoar ljubavi napunio.

 

Inspirational story

Once upon a time there was a man who remained bachelor his whole life because he was in a search of a perfect woman. When he was 70 somebody asked, "You have been travelling and travelling -from New York to Delhi, from Delhi to Rome, from Rome to London, and you have been searching. Could you not find a perfect woman? Not even one?"
The sad old man replied,"Yes, once I did. One day, long ago, I came across a perfect woman."
The inquirer asked,"Then what happened? Why didn't you get married?"
The old man replied with a lower tone,"What to do? She was looking for the perfect man."

 

 

 

 

"Love, and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy peace, through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can nothing spring but what is good.”
– Sv. Augustin
 

 

 

 

 

"Love makes time pass,
time makes love pass."

– French proverb
 

 

 

"There is no more beautiful sight than the eyes of the man in love."
Talidari

 

Discovering Love

In the course of life, we all fall in love numerous times, not just with certain persons but also with things, animals and even with plants. Although it seems that we fall in love with the object of love, in truth we actually fall in love with love. It is the love itself we crave for, that which certain beings (or things or experiences) activate or stir or revive in us – the love itself, the sublime divine expression. Once we manage to induce it on our own, we don't need the external input any longer, however we will always be inclined to other beings so as to fulfill our basic need for intimacy, belonging and unity. Those individuals who satisfy even that need through their relationship to God or to animals or to nature, they don't need other people for it. However, the need to share and help others might then be enhanced, which will prevent them from isolating themselves.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love — that’s the challenge! But not when you cultivate love as a virtue. Grow into love as your natural quality and you’ll be in love forever and ever.

True love is experienced by practicing the following:

  • Let go of emotional love – as quoted earlier, “Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others”, quit reducing love to its emotional aspect. Love is all-encompassing – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Love is a virtue, not just an emotion. Letting go of emotional love is not letting go the love itself but the attachment to that which is loved. “We think that the loss of a love object brings grief, but actually, the grief is about the loss of the attachment itself, which is due to viewing the object of love as the source of happiness.” “Non-attachment is not the same as indifference, withdrawal or detachment. [...] In contrast, non-attachment allows full participation in life without trying to control outcomes.” – David R. Hawkins, Eye of the I

  • "There is no way God created us for anything other than to really love."
    – Victor Hugo
     
    Love yourself – if you don't love yourself, make sure you do. Nobody’s perfect and we all have flaws and make mistakes, but we also have virtues and learn from mistakes. Love yourself because you deserve it, the same as every other human, since from the perspective of the Absolute, we all have the same worth and there is no duality (good/bad, worthy/unworthy...). Actually, love is not to be deserved, for it is a natural condition, the true nature of your being. It’s unnatural not to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you will not take proper care of yourself, hence you will attract disease, as well as people who will also not love you and other misfortunes. In order to love yourself, remind yourself of your innate virtues and your divine source (all of us are children of god, thus worthy of love). Love yourself especially when the going gets tough. Practice unconditional love towards yourself.
  • Tame your ego – if your ego is preventing you from embracing love and loving others, who your ego thinks isn't worthy of your love, it’s time for you to tame your ego by establishing the harmony between your mind and heart. Ego is linked to reason, and love is to heart. Let you heart guide you when it comes to love, even if you get burned, because “It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.” As soon as you notice your reason starting to “calculate”, listen to your heart, your feelings as well as gut feeling, and let them guide you. You don't have to discard your reason, just your ego. Or at least tame it.Whenever you get in a quarrel with someone, make sure to ask yourself in the moment: “What is bigger now, my ego or my love?” This simple question has the power to solve conflict.
  • Surrender to love – the English expression “falling in love” means more than it seems. You don't rise in love, you don't stand in love, you fall in love. Meaning, something of you should fall or melt away to accommodate the other. That something is ego. You surrender your ego..
  • Be open to love. That way you won't miss it when it shows up.
  • Be in the here and now – because love is only possible in the here and now. Forget about your past bad experiences and old loves, and don't postpone love for some other, better time. Love here and now.
"Love and ego cannot go together. If love is not there the ego can be; if love is there the ego cannot be. And vice versa, if ego is dropped, love arrives from all the directions." – Osho
  • Transform your flaws into virtues, just like an alchemist turning metal into gold, or a sculptor turning rock into a sculpture, or an artist turning something ugly into a masterpiece. True love can't last nor exist if it’s tainted by hate, jealousy, anger, possessiveness, selfishness, criticism and similar taints. You should turn every one of your negative emotions into a positive one – by means of decision, laughter, nature, arts, meditation, spiritual practices and virtues.

    Or, let the transformation happen on its own – by allowing it, not resisting, and with the help of patience. With some destructive emotions you don't have to do anything, you just have to be patient, let them pass (focusing attention on something else, such as counting or deep breathing). That’s one of the greatest insights – the positive and the negative phenomena oscillate all the time. According to the law of polarity and the one of rhythm, the opposites are constantly rhythmically rotating. Like low tide and high tide, day and night, the light and the dark, happiness and sadness. You should let the negative ones pass and welcome the positive ones. Try it. When you get angry, don't do anything, just sit and watch how it comes and goes. Don't be against it, don't be for it. Don't cooperate with it, don't suppress it. Just observe, be patient, just look at what’s going on, let it rise, but do nothing, don't dwell on it. Wait for it to pass. It will pass, because everything does. Don't identify yourself with that emotion. You are not anger; you are just temporarily feeling angry. If you look in the mirror, you will see a red face, red eyes, you will notice that that’s not you, that something got over you. Don't give in, don't do what the anger wants you to do. Instead, wait patiently for it to pass. No emotion can last forever, but it can last longer if we “feed” it. So, let every negative emotion go, don't give it more power than it has, don't dwell on it, don't be its slave, and embrace any positive emotion so that it could stay with you as long as possible and empower you.
  • Be grateful – have an attitude of gratitude – when you realize how much there is to be grateful for, even for the little stuff, it’s easier for you to respond with love.
  • Give – people love gifts and givers. By generously giving you will feel the joy of those to whom you give your money, time, attention, food, gifts or something else. Their joy and love will rub off on you, so you’ll love them back, as well as the mere act of giving.
  • Watch romance movies and read romance novels – let them inspire you to love.
  • Love others – it’s the best way to be loved. Don't seek for the reason to love, just love for the sake of loving and being in tune with love that is divine.
  • Play with children – they are full of love.
  • Surround yourself with loving people – people radiate rays of love, which won't pass you by even if they’re not directed right at you. In the presence of love, everyone gets it, one way or another. Spend time with your loved ones. Avoid those who don't love you.
  • Get a puppy or a kitten – it’s hard not to love them. If you can't get a puppy or a kitten, play with someone else’s, or even better, if you can, babysit someone else’s puppy or kitten – this way you do triple good. People who are not in a relationship tend to get themselves a pet, which serves as a great way to channel their love and affections, as well as antidote for solitude. Spinsters and cats have long been proverbially associated together. Move aside, Prince Charming – kitten will save the day.
  • Try this for fifteen minutes or so: go sit with something that means nothing to you—maybe a tree, a rock, or an insect. Do it a few days in a row. After a while, you will find you can look upon it with as much love as with anyone else you love. If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience..
  • Surround yourself with beauty or visit places with beautiful things – it’s hard not to love something which is beautiful.
  • Spend time in nature – it’s hard not to love nature. In its embrace it’s easy to feel good and feel the universal love. In the handbooks designed to help others win the love of other people, authors recommend taking the person out in the nature, if possible near water (river, lake, sea) because it induces romantic feelings. Love is in the air, fresh air.
  • Find things and people you can love and enjoy in/with them. Discover new love towards some new kinds of food, or a new genre of movies or books, or some animals or plants…
  • Use daily cues for love – as a reminder to cultivate love, make a pledge that certain experiences will trigger love in you, such as:
    • Seeing a heart shape (in a card, the clouds, a shadow, on a display, etc.) could be your cue to raise your consciousness to the mode of love or to practice love.
    • Hearing a love song on the radio or elsewhere, let that be a reminder of the importance of vocalizing your love. Then, find the opportunity to express your love to someone in words.
    • When you find yourself in a loving embrace, let that be a cue to consciously radiate love.
  • Infect yourself with love – every time you witness somebody loving something or someone new, let them infect you with that love. For example, if you hear someone talk passionately about an artist you don't know about, about an unknown spice, travel destination, type of dance or sport or whatever, do a research on it, see what made that person love this thing. Who knows, maybe you’ll love it too!
  • Maintain love – once you love someone or something, you should nurture it so that love wouldn't go away.
  • Have a love scrap-book – make a scrap-book with little pictures and words of everything you love, including people, things, and activities – anything you can think of. Every day, take some time to look at it, read it, add new things, imagine having everything you don't already have and doing everything you don't haven't had a chance to do before. Whenever you lack love or you feel bad, take a look at your love scrap-book like it’s your love oasis.
  • Use the power of imagination and imagine that everything, or at least something among the things you love, is in your vicinity – close your eyes and imagine what it is it like to have somebody or something to love. With the power of imagination and strong emotions you’ll contribute to it coming true.
  • Anchor yourself – anchoring is a psychological technique relative to the Pavlovian conditioning – find an appropriate lucky charm or a melody that will serve you as a personal reminder for love thoughts. It can be a pendant, a bracelet, a ring, a bell – something you always carry with you. Whenever you listen to it or take a look at it (on purpose or not), remind yourself of someone or something you love.
  • Become a love expert by expanding your consciousness about how useful it is to love and go through life filled with love – read books, articles, watch shows related to that topic. It is said that if we read five books on a particular subject, we become an expert in it.
  • Use affirmations of love, as often as possible. Examples:
  1. I know I deserve love, and I accept it now.
  2. I give love, and it comes back to me multiplied.
  3. I look forward to love, which I experience everyday.
  4. I have a loving partner and our relationship is loving, happy and peaceful.
  5. My relationship with my love partner gets better with each new day.
  6. I am releasing myself from despair and letting love find me.
  7. I am the love that removes all my fears.
  8. Opening up towards love sets me free.
  9. I love myself.
  10. I love and accept myself just the way I am.
  11. Unconditional love which is manifested in me, through me and around me, attracts everything that’s required for the greatest well-being of my soul.
  12. Every day I find it easier and easier to let go things and simply be love.
  13. It’s safe for me to let go all worries and simply embrace the love which I am.
  14. I have everything it takes for me to be happy and loved.
  15. By loving myself, I love others.
  16. I accept life with love.
  • Practice the Hawaiian method called ho'oponopono, which is widely practiced all around the world and which became a hit after it got published that a doctor in a mental institution healed all the patients there with it, without ever treating the patients. They were all healed by the doctor looking at their medical history of each and every one of them, and sending them four thoughts, with love: “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and thank you.” Although he never met them before, he was aware that it was society’s fault for their condition and behavior. That’s why he took his responsibility, and on his own behalf, with a vital dose of feelings of love towards every one of them, in his thoughts asked every one of them to forgive him. Most importantly, he sent those same thoughts of love to himself, because he found himself in that negative surroundings. With the premise that everyone is responsible for what’s happening in their life, as well as for the condition of every person he’s in contact with, the doctor asked for forgiveness with this mantra. The main principle of this practice is that by healing ourselves we heal others, or that by being and doing good, we do good to others too. Without any knowledge about this, the patients made a full recovery and that part of the hospital was closed because there were no more patients.

So, make it your habit to send these four thoughts to anyone who has in some way harmed you or is in a difficult situation: "I love you, I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you." By sending thoughts of love (instead of the negative ones) towards others, you change your vibration and that of your surroundings for the best, and so you change your life too. Simply evoke the spirit of love to heal whatever created the circumstances in which you are – whether it’s a conflict, illness, financial pressure or anything else.


Those who are able to love, have no need for meditation or any other technique for achieving whatever. Meditation (as well as any other technique, teacher, and school) is needed only because we don't love enough. If you maintain love, it’s not necessary to practice or learn anything, because you already fulfilled your purpose by loving. The purpose is to get rid of the ego. To love means to eliminate the ego. Where there is no ego, there is bliss.

Love is not reduced to human mind. It owes its power to the Higher consciousness which is its source.

 

 

How to fall in love (again):

Truth be told, there is no known way to fall in love, no love potion, no elixir of love, just stuff that people call that way.

There are fairy tales such as the story of Tristan and Isolde (or Iseult) which involve a love potion. This legend dates back to the 12th century, which is why there are many variations of it. In one version, they fell secretly in love when disguised princess Isolde healed the knight Tristan from his war wounds, in spite of them belonging to rival tribes. They were forced to part but reunited later when Isolde was on her way to marry Tristan’s uncle, the king. The marriage was supposed to reconcile those two enemy tribes and bring peace to the region. On the ship sailing to the king, Isolde was cross with Tristan because he was the one who arranged this marriage for political reasons, and he was stricken with guilt because he betrayed her kindness and with debt towards her. With her feeling betrayed and humiliated having to marry some old king, and his knightly notion of self-sacrifice, they decided to drink together what they believed to be a lethal poison, but it turned out to be a love potion.

Even if the love potion was just ma's homebrew herbal hooch, the belief that it was deadly poison had a freeing effect on them. Thinking they were dying, both of them did not care anymore for categories of worldly comforts, social status, honor, loyalty, sacrifice, conformism, or duty, instead they declared their passion for each other. Faced with death threat, going through a traumatic experience, it makes you re-evaluate your life and recognize the essential. Bear in mind, this love would not be consumed had they not drunk the concoction. However, it is uncertain whether the thing had really any magical powers, or the magic lied in the spiritual liberation in the face of death.

On a deep, thematic level, the drinking of the love potion signifies the act of killing the inner inhibitions and falling under the spell of their instinctual drives. The two already loved each other, so the potion was not for falling in love but for surrendering to love, in spite of the adverse circumstances that were against them loving each other. Love potion had freed them from their earthly duties and so they were free to express their suppressed feelings. Like them, we are expected to always choose rationally rather than emotionally, so love potions are meant to free us from our reasoning in favor of feelings. However, any artificial means to liberate ourselves inevitably turns sour, as the story’s further downward spiral also shows.

Past lives aside, no one really knows for sure how or why we fall in love with someone and not with the other. There are femme fatales and Don Juans of the world who seem to be able to make almost anyone they want fall in love with them, but for a short time. As dating coaches teach, it is possible and easy to trick someone into falling in love with a combination of playing to their weaknesses and psychology, but we don’t advise that. Here we are concerned with how you yourself can fall in love with someone and something, without tricks and potions. As said, this is really a mystery, however, there are ways to increase your chances to fall in love with someone, such as:

  • Take falling in love as surrendering to love, instead of as something that captures you without your will. Surrender is a noble virtue, one of the top-ranking virtues on the scale of consciousness, where it has a log of 575, which is much higher than love that ranks between 500-540 (depending on whether it is unconditional or not). Among other things, surrender means surrendering your ego and all its constructs so as to be free and to accommodate others without selfish agendas. In its highest form, surrender is about surrendering to God, which is in a way surrendering to light, love and everything divine, which is different from polarized human, egoistic desires.

  • Self-disclosure and looking into each other’s eyes can (re)kindle romance. Sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions (google: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love). In the process reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for about half an hour. Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

  • Going through an extreme situation together builds a bond between people that entails deeper love.

  • Another route to romantic attraction is doing something physiologically arousing together, like standing on a scary bridge.

 

 

 

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love say: 'I need you because I love you'."
– Erich Fromm

 

 

Anonymous:
"I realized that I did not know to love my mother, that I couldn't bring myself to show her love constantly, not expecting nothing from her, because ultimately, our relationship is my responsibility too, not just hers. I don't smile at her often enough, I don't hug her, my door is always closed, and so on."

This girl, who wants to remain anonymous, is not the only one who does not know how to show her love. Most people don't know what love really is, don't know what they would love to do with their life, or don't know how to express their love. How to change this is described right here on this page!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"In love triangle if third person is not God, it will be someone else."
Talidari

There are lovers content with longing. I'm not one of them.
– Rumi

    LOVE ISSUES

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved."
– Barbara Johnson 
Love towards others is impossible without loving oneself.
He who doesn't love himself, doesn't love others as he should. What he feels towards others is not true love. That is the cause of all the problems.

True love never dies.
It never causes problems. It, rather, causes solutions.
"True love stories never have endings."
– Richard Bach

Love issues arise only when true love is not there.
We interpret our feelings as love even when it’s not really love. As soon as there is jealousy, it means it is not true love, but it’s a matter of distrust, insecurity, fear, phobia, selfishness, narrowmindedness, prejudice, suspicion, ignorance...
Also, love issues arise from attachment and dependency being wrongly interpreted as love. When a loved one stops fulfilling your expectations, needs and wishes, that’s when problems arise, but only because it’s not true love. When we truly love someone, the happiness of that person is more important to us than our own.

"If we feed the ego,
love stays hungry."

Talidari
 

There’s a fine line between love and egoism. To love yourself doesn't mean to be egocentric, selfish, conceited, arrogant, narcissistic, or vain. Love and ego are two opposite things. You can have both, but not at the same time. It’s up to each and every one of us to choose the right one at the right moment. Sometimes it suits us to go for ego, but what suits us doesn't mean it’s right or proper. By making decisions we choose between convenient and right. Better choose right, because in the end, it’s better for you and for others. It’s a matter of decision.

When it is said that it is sometimes good to be selfish, what is meant by that is to love oneself, not depriving others others of anything. Maybe a better word than 'selfish' would be 'self-loving’. We need to put ourselves first so that we can efficiently and safely help others. We are not of any help if we ourselves are miserable and unhappy. God created a beard first for himself, says a Croatian proverb. Just as our flight attendant on the plane gives us instructions that during an airplane accident, we should put an oxygen mask on ourselves first and then on the child, there are also other life situations when we need to first satisfy our basic needs in order to be able to help others. Among the basic needs, in addition to air, food and drink, is that of love. Just as we do not expect others to provide us with air and food, they also don't have to provide us with love. We can do that for ourselves.

"Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time."
– Paulo Coelho
 

Love issues arise also when we don't love ourselves like we’re supposed to, so we expect from others to love us and fulfill that need for love. A person who loves himself and knows the true meaning of love, is happy when he loves. Such person also doesn't feel the need for others to satisfy his needs, because by loving himself he can easily fulfill his own needs. Such person doesn't have a need to rely on others, because he can rely on himself. Love issues are a result of a person being insecure about himself, as well as about others.

"We should love, not fall in love, because anything that falls, gets broken."
– Taylor Swift
 

The price we often pay for implementing justice in relationships is alienation which leads to loneliness and/or aggressiveness. True happiness doesn't come through others, but through our ability to open ourselves, to love with all our heart and be completely free (from demands, from depending on other people’s moods and ability of making us happy). When we manage to have the joy that doesn't come from the outside world, the outside world won't be able to destroy it. When we realize that no one really owes us anything and that we don't owe anything to anyone, we become free and capable of true love, unconditional, unlimited and carefree.

Example – marital problems: one anonymous woman, who has a very harmonious and happy marriage, told us how, in the past, she used to have rows with her husband, until she realized that no one else but herself was responsible for her own happiness. She said she used to be bothered by her husband’s this and that, including by the fact that she couldn't rely on his word, since he changed his mind all the time. As she was convinced marriage couldn't be built on distrust (as she interpreted it so), she even thought of divorce, not wanting to live with someone she couldn't rely on and who messes with their plans by being indecisive.
Then, she experienced a shift in her worldview and realized that she was to blame for being unstable and imbalanced, because otherwise, she wouldn't feel the need to rely on her husband or on his word. When she admitted that the true cause of her suffering were actually her own defects, not her husband’s, she took action to own her strength and use it to get rid of her defects. It was all about attitude, which came about from perceptions. By changing her perspective, she became aware of her own power and stopped expecting so much from her husband. That new attitude of hers led to her husband, not being burdened by her demands anymore, becoming happier, thus a lot better towards her. They decided love was most important and everything else irrelevant. Since then, every day she feels gratitude that she has a possibility to express love and to be an object of someone else’s love. Everything else is a matter of agreement which, even if not completely followed, was never to be a cause for losing her joy since the source of her true joy was in her, not in others, including her husband. She now owns it.
And so, you too, should own your source of joy!

"Love is not for the weak. In love, it is necessary to overcome the biggest enemy, one's own ego and the weak can't do it. To defeat the ego one needs the power of the spirit, which is stronger than muscle strength. Any fool can hate, but only smart can love."
 – Talidari

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The Powers of Feelings and Emotions

The only way to change in any way is to first change your emotions and beliefs.
You can't expect a change in the finances, health or love if you continue thinking and feeling like before.

A lot of people have failed to get what they want by positive thinking, and that’s because their thoughts weren't joined with positive feelings and emotions, especially that of love. Feelings and emotions are what separates losers from winners. While the first are at the whim of their emotions, the others control them and use their love and other emotions as a force that creates and transforms all the bad into good. Those who love money and all that comes with it from the bottom of their hearts, they get it, while those who want money and other material things, but feel it’s not right or moral or that they don't deserve it, they never get it and never move away from mere wishing.

"A change of feeling is a change of destiny"
– Neville Goddard
 

Life isn't happening to us; it only responds to us. As many great people who have accomplished great things assure us, we reap only what we sow, and everything we can think of and feel is possible – if you can feel it, you can make it happen. That’s why if you feel like you’re healthy, you’ll be healthy. Feel what it’s like to live in wealth and it will manifest. Feel what it’s like to love and be loved, and your love life will blossom.


Love Is Not for Cowards

It often happens that, out of fear from getting hurt, we don't want to open up our hearts to someone or something. The emotion of fear is very powerful one, but in a negative way. It is the source of other negative emotions, like anxiety, pessimism, skepticism, etc., which have a destructive influence in a person’s life. Many people come up with excuses that they don't want to love out of caution, but that so-called caution is just a mild word for fear and other mentioned weaknesses. Truth be told, love is not for cowards, for those who base their life on fear.

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Alfred Lord Tennyson
 

Don't be a coward, love boldly and fearlessly! Winning and losing are both an integral part of life, so there is no point in avoiding one of those, because that is how we lose the other then. Without losing there is no winning, just like there is no high tide without the ebb tide. That’s the natural law of polarity. Love for your own sake, not for others’ sake!
 

 

 

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love."
– Sophocles

How to Love When You’re Sad and Unhappy?

"What strikes the oyster shell does not damage the pearl."
– Mevlana Rumi

By realizing the following:

  • Love is not the opposite of sadness, it’s a cure for sadness.
  • Love erases sadness. Find something or someone to love and your sadness will fade.
  • You don't need a reason to love. Love is your natural state of being, the true nature of your being.
  • You don't have to be happy to love, but you need to love in order to feel happy.
  • Don't look for a reason to love in joy, but find a reason for joy in love.
  • Love is prevention, not just a symptom.
  • Love is a cause, not just a consequence.
  • Loving is far more important and constructive than not loving.
  • Because of your free will, you always have a choice to either be in the state of love and joy or in the state of sorrow and unhappiness. If you don't deliberately choose the one, it means you actually choose the other. The choice is always yours. You can choose, but will you?
  • In every situation there is a positive and negative side of it. Deliberately choose to dwell on the positive one, not the negative one. Open your eyes to the silver lining of all adversities and you will not only make them go away but thrive. The word misfortune contains in it the word fortune – make sense of that! Everything makes sense.
  • Every reason for sadness has its positive side – many who have gone through adversity have later realized that it also brought them many positive changes in their life.
  • Everything will pass. Sadness too. Why dwell on it. Better stick to love, it feels better.
  • When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found – Sufi Proverb

By understanding what love really is, as explained above.

By understanding why you need love, as explained above.

By understanding how to love, as explained above.

And most of all, by cultivating unconditional love, as follows.


 

"Love the sinner and hate the sin."

"
Love all men, even your enemies; love them, not because they are your brothers, but that they may become your brothers."
– St. Aurelius Augustine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Instead of dividing all people into good and bad ones, why not divide them into good and eye-opening."
Talidari

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where love rules there are no superiors nor inferiors."
– Japanese proverb

"Where love rules there are no good nor bad guys."
Talidari

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."

"If you love your enemies, you will discover that at the very root of love is the power of redemption."
– Martin Luther King

 

 

 

 

Reasons to Marry Someone You Hate »
 

     How to Love Those Who Have Done Us Wrong

The hardest thing in the world – to love those who, for one reason or another, have hurt us or someone else dear to us. Are those people worth loving at all?

It’s not about if someone is worthy of love, it’s about if you yourself are worthy of love, because primarily you don't need to love for others’ sake, but for your own. You should love, not because someone deserves it, but because you deserve it. You don't love others because they are worthy of love, but because you are worthy of love! You don't love to do others good, but to do yourself good! By loving others, we do good to them, but the greatest good is done to ourselves. Hence, it’s not important whom we love, but to love! In love, the one who gains the most is the one who loves, not the one who is loved.

This is one of the most insightful paragraphs of this module, so please read it once again, understand it, and then apply it to your life.

"Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry."
– Gabriel Garciá Márquez
 

Loving those who have done us wrong does not mean always giving in, allowing humiliation and insults, or permitting any evil and injustice. Indeed.
To love doesn't require putting up with things. We don't have to allow disgrace in order to love and/or forgive. To love doesn't mean to let others offend you or harm you in any way. To love doesn't mean to be a fool and let  mean people walk all over you. You can love without tolerating someone else’s malice. Loving isn't indulging. If, for a while, you distance yourself from a loved one who’s causing you pain, it doesn't mean you don't love him or her. You are just giving them time to think about what they have done and do something to bring the relationship back to what it was – filled with love, from both sides.

Firstly, you should really grasp why loving is important for both yourself and for transformation of the other person – as described in one of the previous segments – Why to love.

Why do you love some and not the other people? What is that worth loving that some people have and others don't? And why do they have it for us and not for others?
The people whom we don't love but others do, why others can love them and we can't?
What are the "stuff" that make us love another human being?
Do we love others because they deserve it or because we deserve it?
Do you yourself want to be loved only when you deserve it? If not, are you willing then to love also the ones who don't deserve it?
When you love someone, do you really love that person or what this person has and you lack?
When you don't love someone, what exactly don't you love in that person? Is it possible that it is something that this person is, which you yourself also are, but don't want to admit? Do these people remind you of your own ills from which you run away?
Is it possible that you can't love only the people who feature the traits, which you too have but refuse to accept because you despise these traits? On a subconscious level, are we resisting the likes of us?

Intentionally we will not give you the answers because you have to get to them yourself – in silence. When silence speaks, you'll hear the voice of your higher self that will reveal all the answers and the very essence of love. Open yourself to it and you'll find out. Don't miss out.

Whether you want to admit it or not, realize it or not, the real reason why you cannot love someone is that it impinges on the wound that you do not want to open or deal with. For example, if you hate stingy people, especially if you find them really irritating, it's only because you too are in fact stingy but you don't want to admit it. You might not know this about yourself, especially if you are destitute, because in order to be called stingy one needs to have much money. If you don't have much money, you easily find excuses for not being generous (in other words stingy) – you can't give what you don't have, right? If you don't give every month to charity, you are stingy. You falsely believe that you don't give because you don't have, but the real truth is that you don't have because you don't give.

Your ego, which doesn't want to be hurt, prevents you to love people who have the same flaws as you – but only those flaws that you unconsciously hide from yourself. The fact that someone's stinginess irritates you is only an indication that stinginess is your own ailment. Why many other people are not irritated by it and some even love this person, whereas you don't? The issue is not with that person, but with you. Therefore, the way to get to love others who irritate you, whom you don't like, who hurt you, is to eliminate that flaw you find the most annoying by others (in this case the flaw stinginess), in yourself, and to cultivate the corresponding virtue (in this case, the virtue of generosity).
When you say to bright people that you hate someone because of this or that, they will realize that it's because you too are covertly like that. So, watch what you say, and rather solve this issue by cultivating the necessary virtues.

To love, in other words to reconnect with our nature, our soul, and with God, sometimes it is necessary to face own weaknesses or flaws which prevent us from loving, namely, fear, ignorance, hatred, pride, ego, vanity, arrogance, distrust, selfishness, blaming, criticism…

That’s not easy at all, but it’s doable and we can imagine it as an adventure in which we slay demons and come out like heroes. We already know that our weaknesses are the bad guys, but they are not us, nor they are a part of us. They are just creatures (of the mind) from another dimension which attack us when we’re weak, but we can stand up to them using our strengths, virtues, will power, and skills, and instead of being their slaves, we can make them our servants.

"To love means loving that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all."
– Gilbert Keith Chesterton
 

When we love those who do not deserve it, we show to ourselves and others that we are really better than those who are seemingly not worthy of love. For if you love only those who are good to you, what is great about that and how different are you then from the villains? Don't villains, too, love only those who suit them and treat others how it suits them? Isn't that what you do, too – treat badly those you don't love, such as those who harmed you? How is your excuse for not loving someone and treating him badly better than theirs? If you want to prove that you are better than those who, according to you, are not worthy of love, then you should not go down to their level and be like them – to love just selected few, and hate or be indifferent to others.

Anyone who considers himself a religious person should love all people unconditionally, because that is taught by every religion. For example, in the Bible, in Matthew 5:38-48, Jesus states that we shouldn't do what we've heard before, but what he tells us:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can't stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So, love your enemies. (from "Loving Your Enemies")
Martin Luther King Jr., A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you decide to love something or someone whom or what you normally don't love, you need to change your perception in order to find what is worth loving. To do that, it’s important to zoom in on his or her positive sides instead of fixating only on the negative ones.

But, before anything, it’s important to recognize your connection with that object or being. Everything and everyone in our world are connected on the base level as inherently all of us have the same Creator. It is easy to love anybody when we look under the surface and perceive their soul, when we identify the soul of the other. Look beneath the iceberg, so to speak; consider what lies below as only a portion of every person is showing on the outside.

When we see only somebody’s body, mind, or emotions, our love is then limited and conditioned. But, when we recognize a soul beyond that facade, a soul that is perfect, we find it very easy and natural to love that person. We don't have to love somebody’s body, mind, or personality, but if we manage to discern the soul of that person, it’s easy for us to love him or her.

All people are essentially neither good nor bad, as duality is illusory; their essence – their soul – is love, so no one is more, or less, worthy of love. Essentially, we are all equal, our souls have equal worth, only our minds, physical urges and emotions are different. Unfortunately, because they don't "feed" their soul regularly so as to give it the power to lead them, most people are spiritually too weak to resist various temptations, so you should help them, give them extra support, love and empathy, even if they resist it due to the temptations overcoming them (ego and other flaws and weaknesses).

When you learn to love the rain, not just the sun, to love the lows, and not just the highs, namely the negative side of all the things and phenomena, it will be easier for you to love the negative side of all beings too. Perfection is not excess of positivity; rather it is the harmony between positivity and negativity; it is a total unity. Otherwise, we would get bored with one-sided, monotonous life. With nothing to challenge us, life would be unbearable. Therefore, don't expect from others to show only one side of themselves to you, only the good side, but love them because they’re double-faced, versatile, challenging, and exciting, all thanks to the fact they have both negative and positive traits.

Loving those who have done you wrong is possible when you know about the universal law of polarity, which reveals that it is natural for everyone to have both positive and negative traits, and that it is most natural to go through positive and negative experiences with people. It is not only natural, but good for us because through this dynamic of interchange of positivities and negativities we evolve and advance in life.

Loving harmful people is also possible once you grasp the other universal laws, such as the one of the cause and effect. Meaning, if someone has harmed you, it is only because you have also done some harm either to them or to others, it doesn't really matter. So, these people are just instruments in the hands of The Higher Power that uses any means to establish harmony. If someone harmed you, instead of getting angry with that person (don't shoot the messenger), you should take time to reflect on the time when you harmed someone, learn from your mistakes, repent, apologize and atone; that is, do the same that you would like them, who have done you wrong, to do. Once you do it, the effects of this harmful experience will either vanish or mitigate, and you will be harmed no longer in that context. Also, take this lesson as an incentive not to harm anyone in the future, knowing that what goes around, comes around.

Once you become aware of the real nature of reality, and how the people who harmed you did that according to the universal laws run by The Higher Power, then knowing how, in the greater scheme of things, these people did that for you, not against you, it will be impossible to hate them, instead you will be able to love them. But not everyone is able to grasp this. For those who don't, having faith in it is sufficient.


Do you believe in second chances? All of us make mistakes and are subject to our weaknesses, and we are especially happy when given another chance. So, when asked, you too should give a chance to those, who have wronged you, to make it right.
"One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.” – Romain Rolland

One of the best known methods for resolving any kind of conflict, illness or financial issue, is the Hawaiian method ho'oponopono, as described above.

The most powerful weapon is not a nuclear bomb. More powerful than that is the opponent's heart. When you have your opponent's heart in your hand and use it as a weapon against him, you will surely win. If the adversary gets to love you, not only have you won, but you also have not lost anything. In any other battle, even in the ones you win, always you win some but you also lose some, even if it is only the bullets you lose. Every victory has its price. That's why the best victory is the one that is won by winning the hearts of others. Just imagine, what a victory it would be to have the enemy not only under your feet, but also willingly sit at your feet!

But such kind of winners are rare. To win the enemy over, to get them to love you, it is possible only for those who are most virtuous and strongest in spirit, because in such battle, instead of bullets, virtues are used – one needs plenty of them, as the virtuous veterans do. Any fool can pump up muscles or acquire weapons and so beat the opponents. But what is great about that?! The greatest thing is to make the opponents love you, instead of hate you.

Defeat them by showing your strengths, instead of your weaknesses, which means that instead of attacking them with your flaws (anger, hatred, aggression...), use virtues (love, wisdom, peace, fascination...) instead. Therefore, every time they expect an attack from you, surprise them and throw them off balance by throwing a virtue at them. This is the only way you can embarrass them, show them that they are wrong about you and make them back off and stop resisting, and eventually come to love you.

Otherwise, if you get down on their level and repay in the same manner, what makes you better than them? Just like you, they have their justifications for their acts and attacks. This is what Jesus meant when he said to turn the other cheek to the ones who slap you. Humility is not the same as humiliation. One is a virtue and the other a flaw. Most people don't even know the difference between the two, hence they think that humility is for the weak. According to their logic, Jesus was then weak too because he surrendered instead of resisting even though he was right. Let them ask themselves whether the world will also remember them in two thousand years and so make them understand where the real power is.

At the end of the day, you need to make a decision, will you be like those most people and live like they do, just dreaming of fortune, or are you going to decide now to take the untrodden path, knowing that the path most people take is not the path to prosperity, but that the path to prosperity is paved with virtues, primarily with love, the unconditional one.

If a friend is angry at you because you love his enemy, then you can tell him something like this:

"I don't love him to do him good; I love him to do good to myself. Love is my nature, as it is yours. We all need to go back to our nature, for our own good, not for the good of our enemies. I don't need to right every wrong or punish everyone who hurt me or you, because I know that there is a much more powerful judge out there than I could ever be, so I leave punishing to the Higher Power, believing that everyone reaps what they sowed.
Loving enemies is more effective than punishing them – we transform them for the better, but even more we transform ourselves for the better. It is in the situations like these that we have a chance to show who we really are and get rewarded for it. Because, what good do we show if we love only those who love us back? Our enemies do that too. If we want to show that we are better than our enemy, we need to do better than them, we need to do the opposite of what the negative thing is. Hatred, anger, revenge, or any such acts serve no constructive purpose, because they are destructive forces, doing harm to both the subject and the object. Our negativity harms us.
By loving unconditionally, I make good karma for myself and so will reap fortune. As my friend, you don't want me to miss out on that, or do you? This is my chance. This is your chance too. What do you say? Should we be the same as those who do wrong, or shall we do the opposite?"


 

 

 


This dog loves him,
how about you? Why not?!
Are you worse than dog?

 

 

 

 


"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?"
Bible, Matthew 5:45

"Love is like dew that falls on both nettles and lilies."
– Swedish proverb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unconditional Love

"Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs...
Love is eternal."
– Bible,
1. Corinthians 13:5,8

 

The most virtuous form of love is the unconditional love, a.k.a. selfless love, or pure love, or true love, or real love, or universal love. It is said that parental love is like that, but often that is not really the case, since parents tend to set conditions and not extend their love with appropriate gestures when a child fails or refuses to meet their conditions. Not to mention all the fathers who renounced their sons or daughters. Most people love only in theory and not so much in the practice, as they spend not enough minutes or hours each day in actual state of loving others. How many minutes or hours have you spent today in a state of loving others? Compare this with how much time you have spent thinking or feeling anything that is far from love and you will realize if your love is just theoretical or real.

To love, but not to show it, is not true love, especially not the unconditional one. However, showing love under adverse circumstances can be different than under the normal ones, still loving should never resort to beating, abuse, or any other form of foul action, which is common to many people who say they love those they harm. Love does no harm; it is not destructive but constructive. It is not true love if something else is stronger, such as pride, ego, rightness, aggressiveness, stubbornness, intolerance or anything else. True love, the unconditional one, is stronger than anything like that, as it is steadfast under all conditions.

There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. There are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction, a mutual benefit scheme, or as Erich Fromm put it: a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. No matter how good or convenient such arrangement is, as such it will not fulfill you or greatly benefit you in any significant way as long as it is molded by the demands of external situations.

What is unconditional love, really? The name speaks for itself – selflessly loving others under any conditions. Most people would say it’s impossible, if not even unnecessary. However, it is indeed possible because love is an inner state, and how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional and independent of external stimuli. Those who do not want to bother to love unconditionally, thinking it is not necessary to do so, their acts of love may be bothersome and stressful, but only until they realize love is not something we do, but the way we are. More on why it is indeed necessary to love unconditionally is coming up.

To love others no matter what they do is truly rare, hence all the suffering in the world. By 'loving’ we mean expressing love – not just loving on the inside but also loving on the outside. Unconditional love is a mode of being that comes from willingness to accept and love others regardless of them being imperfect. This is doable when you remember you are imperfect too, but also when you remember that in their core, their soul, everyone is indeed perfect and love-worthy. Unconditional love signifies a mode of consciousness in which one is aware of unity and oneness of all existence and therefore knows that by increasing the welfare of another one does it to the whole, including oneself, despite any immediate evidence of benefit for oneself or even despite the seeming evidence of the own disadvantages

As a matter of fact, you can love unconditionally either everything or nothing, because loving unconditionally means to realize that love is a mode of being and not just some fleeting emotion, and as such is not influenced by outside transient conditions. As a proverb has it: A lion remains to be a lion, even if they lock him in a cage. When you are a loving being, then you are a loving being no matter what, who, where or when.

Be like a lighthouse that just stands there and shines the light regardless of external conditions and of the quality of incoming vessels – the lighthouse lights because that is the core of its existence, and especially for the stray ships to save them from sinking. Likewise, when you acknowledge love in your core, when it becomes your mode of being instead of just a sentiment that comes and goes as it pleases, you will also shine your love and light unconditionally, and illuminate everyone by simply loving them unconditionally. And especially those who need unconditional love because they are stuck or lost their way, to save them, instead of "extinguishing your light to let them go down."

Unconditional love is love without conditions, obviously, but this also means without limits. Unlimited love is the byproduct of expanded, unlimited perception. If your perception is limited, so is your love. You should expand your perception so as to expand your love, too, to the unconditional mode. Expanding perception means to expand the current view of reality as dualistic and three-dimensional.

In Christianity, the term "unconditional love" is mainly used to indicate God's love for all people irrespective of their love for God. Also, Jesus have preached loving enemies and loving own neighbors as oneself.
In Hinduism and Buddhism, the Sanskrit word Bhakti refers to the concept of unconditional love; it denotes unconditional religious devotion in worship of a divine.
"In the realm of love, there is neither belief, nor unbelief."
– Rumi
In Islam unconditional love can only be directed to Allah. The highest spiritual attainment in Islam is related to the unconditional love of God. In Islamic Sufism, unconditional love is the basis for the divine love.

Why You Need to Love Unconditionally
First and foremost, because your own personal unconditional happiness and success in life depend on it, your ability to gain lasting fortune, material and spiritual one. In other words, you need to love unconditionally because with it you end your own misfortune and suffering. You need to love unconditionally to turn your misfortune into fortune, to shift every negativity into positivity in all matters, including relationships, health, wealth, etc. When you love unconditionally, your frequency or so-called attractor factor rises and with it your chances for realizing your dreams rise too. If you want unconditional success and happiness, you can have it by means of unconditional love and joy. Unconditional is the key word. You can love and enjoy unconditionally when you raise your consciousness to the level of being aware of the true nature of reality, of its non-duality and multidimensionality, as explained previously.

Unconditional love is about what we give, not what we get. And as you know, getting follows giving, as reaping follows sowing. Most people get it totally wrong; they believe that loving is an effect, when it is actually the cause – it is a creator, and not a creation. Therefore, you shouldn't love unconditionally as an effect of something or someone being pleasing to you, but instead you should love unconditionally so that it becomes pleasing.

"When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what's inside."
- Wayne W. Dyer

We need unconditional love because love is our true nature, and not because something or someone is worthy of our love. When we love, we express our intrinsic nature, like, say, orange expresses its own by giving the same taste no matter who is eating it or squeezing it, a saint or a sinner. All nature is based on unconditional love, not differentiating and giving unconditionally – sun shines on everyone evenly, wellsprings cater to us all equally, pets love us whether we are winners or losers, birds sing to heroes and villains the same, and so on.

God is all-loving and merciful, but nature laws (a.k.a. universal laws) regulate order and justice, which means that you determine your fate and wellbeing level by your conducts, thus it pays to love rather than hate since you reap what you sow. What's more, you share the collective karma and fate of your associations and the things you participate in, so where you can (apart from homeland and family), it is important to choose well which groups and organizations you get involved and engage in. With your love and other virtues, you can contribute to the betterment of each of your groups (family, friends, neighborhood, company, nation, humanity, etc.). In general, retract your energy from things that are negative and put it to the things that are positive.

Let’s not forget that karma is not a reward and punishment system and that it has nothing to do with fate, as some poorly informed people understand it. Karma means action, not result; the same as love is a cause rather than an effect. Collective karma results in certain external consequences that become part of your life, but how you experience them is still determined by you, depending on your level of consciousness. As you know, there are celebrities and privileged people who are miserable as well as simple and underprivileged people who are content. You can change your own karma and destiny instantly and influence the collective karma and destiny by how you experience life – by how you think, feel and respond from now on.

When you love unconditionally, you change your environment for the better and create conditions for solutions. Therefore, if there are any conflicts in your family, class, office, neighborhood, or any other community, by merely emitting vibrations of unconditional love you are able to alter the overall vibe, as well as raise the consciousness of the people involved and so contribute to a resolution. Unconditional love has indeed such magical powers. Aligning with unconditional love calls for divine intervention.

If the benefits of loving whatever pleases you are great, then just think about the grandness of the benefits of loving whatever displeases you! Imagine if all the things, beings and occurrences that usually bring you down, suddenly could lift you up! It is possible and doable by means of virtues. Once you take full responsibility for everything in your life, you empower yourself to raise your consciousness to the levels of understanding, wisdom, tolerance, compassion, love and ultimately to joy and inner peace.

The power of unconditional love is much, much greater than the power of conditional love. Conditional love doesn't have power to turn disadvantages to advantages, whereas unconditional love does that. It has the power to completely alleviate all your suffering and so empower you to fulfill your potential, which brings all kinds of rewards for you and others.

If you are a kind person, you are kind regardless if others are kind, right? If you are a loving person, then it should be the same, right? Because, all virtues are personal and have nothing to do with others. You are the one who has the most advantage from being in the mode of love – it feels not only great, but it drives you to do things that are most beneficial to you. Why then do you censor and limit your love to an exclusive list of beings, things and occasions? Think about it. The insight will empower you to convert every unpleasant experience to a pleasant one.

Imagine the world in which everyone loves unconditionally! If you’d like that, start from yourself, and possibly recommend it to others by giving them a link to this page. One by one, humanity will achieve a tipping point, when unconditional love will become the standard and anything less will be ongoing only among the ignorant and primitive folk. Loving unconditionally is the mark of advanced individuals.

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
– Norman Vincent Peale
 

Aim at loving unconditionally even if you believe you and others can't never make it. Even so, you will make it more beneficial than if you stayed at the level of anger, resentment, hate, or any other toxic modes of existence. Look at it this way, if you throw a stone aiming at the moon, even though you know you can't possibly hit the moon, your stone will reach further than if you aimed at the nearby bush.
 

How to Evoke Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is not to be achieved, but to be allowed. That’s right, all you have to do is stop resisting it. Human soul’s main expression is that of unconditional love, so it is in our core to love fully, not partially. Therefore, you don't need to learn it, or achieve it, or anything like that, but only to make it active by allowing it or claiming it as your true nature. You are unconsciously resisting it due to all the misconceptions of your deluded mind, which keeps on telling you why you shouldn't love this or that.

Stop resisting to love unconditionally thinking that objects of your love need to somehow deserve to be loved by you, or at least they should not do anything that displeases you. You can stop resisting it and allow it by knowing that you need to love anything or anyone for your own sake because this is the only way for you to raise your consciousness to the level where you become a magnet for utter success and happiness that you deserve. Knowing that you need to love because you deserve it, and not because others need to deserve it, this awareness will loosen your resistance and facilitate you to generate unconditional love.

Once more:
We love, not because others deserve our love but because by loving we maintain our purity and release all impurities from our minds and hearts.
We love, not because others deserve to be loved but because we know that by loving them, we help them to become better. Love changes both giver and taker for the better.

Another means of evoking unconditional love is acknowledging that you yourself would like to be loved unconditionally, therefore it is only natural to give others what you want too. You can't expect from others what you yourself are not ready to give. So, do onto others as you would like them to do onto you. It is a golden rule, which is propagated in nearly every religion and ethical tradition, as well as in psychology, philosophy, sociology, and economics. Your affirmation of this law of reciprocity is evident in the way you treat others. As a boomerang effect, the love you extend outward will be reciprocated inward. love when angry

One other means of evoking unconditional love is acknowledging that you are doing a good karma for yourself – by loving others unconditionally you are sowing good seeds that will provide you with good harvest, so to speak. There is no special reward or good karma for loving those that love or please you – anyone loves such people, even the criminals, so nothing special about that, thus no special reward for that. You need to love anyone and anything unconditionally to show how great you really are and so reap all the great benefits you deserve. If you discriminate who and what you love, your act of discrimination will cause you to be discriminated too, and discrimination is never a thing to be rewarded by the Higher Power, which never discriminates and provides sun, air and all the other great things to everyone equally, regardless of our merit. If your goal is to be granted great benefits in life, then it is your duty to cultivate the indiscriminate love. You reap what you sow.

Besides, to evoke unconditional love, it might suffice to simply think of it as cosmic or universal love. In other words, to think of your love as not being limited or reduced to individual things or beings, but being all-inclusive and far-reaching. Allow your love to be infinite, to go beyond the limitations of your mind.

By no means does loving unconditionally mean being blinded by love, but rather it means deciding that love is more important than anything else. Unconditional Love is not the case of being blinded by love but rather the resolution that nothing is more important than love. Love is beyond duality, beyond seeing faults and merits; it is concerned only with oneness, with being one with another, united in love, together rather than separate.

Therefore, not only that unconditional love is not blind, but it sees more and further than otherwise. In truth, people who don't love unconditionally are actually the ones who are blinded – they blindly see only dual expression of everything, only the good or bad points, not seeing the whole, which is perfectly balanced, but not fully perceptible to the limited eye, full of prejudices, lacking love.

Unconditional love requires a commitment to loving fully, wholeheartedly and soulfully, but in order to be able to commit to such a lofty but highly challenging objective, one needs to elevate one’s consciousness. In order to raise your consciousness to the level of unconditional love, you need to make a decision to do that. However, to actually make this decision and stand by it, it is necessary to expand the perception of reality and understand these essentials:
 
1Firstly, you need to acknowledge the natural law of polarity, by which the world is arranged so that everything in the world vibrates or fluctuates between own negative and positive pole (or charge or quality), and life is made possible only because of interchange of those polarities. If it wasn't for these dynamics, there would be no life – day/night, sun/rain, warm/cold, high/low tides, etc. Just like that, every person has own positive and negative qualities, which is natural. Most people expect from others not to have or not to show their other side, so called negative side, which is in fact unnatural. To love unconditionally means to embrace also the negative side of everything and everyone, because it’s not only natural, but also necessary and beneficial.

Usually, people think they can't love someone or something because that person or thing has only negative traits, which is not true, since by default absolutely everyone has both positive and negative traits. Negative doesn't necessarily mean bad, rather it means the opposite or different from the positive. We can love those who are different from us, as we love, say, dogs and cats. When you grasp this law of polarity, you realize that everything and everyone has two poles in them, and that if you see only the negative side, it is only due to your limited perception.

So, it’s possible to unconditionally love people, animals, things, jobs, activities, situations, since you now know they also have positive sides that are worth loving, just as anything you deem love-worthy. Besides, something or someone doesn't even need to be worthy of love, because we love or need to love for our own good. It’s in our personal interest to be in a vibration of love, since our own lasting well-being depends on it.

2Secondly, it’s important to realize that every person, just like us, is essentially a perfect soul, not a mind, emotions or body, therefore we need to unconditionally love the soul of a man, which is easy because it is perfect by nature, Higher Self being an extension of Higher Power. Mind, emotions and body are ministers of soul, just acting on behalf of the soul, and often arbitrarily take control, not letting the soul to express itself. This happens whenever Ego intrudes. Some people are mainly guided by their intellect, others act on impulses or are highly emotional; for many others physical appearance and fitness mean everything. If you don‘t like what someone thinks, his behavior, his looks, his performance or anything else, you have the right not to love that part of his being, as long as you don't hate it. However, every sentient being, thing and situation is much more than just a sum of its parts. You don't have to love somebody’s thoughts, appearance or actions, but you need to love the person as a whole, because a person isn't reduced to his parts. Judge actions, if you must, but not the person, i.e. the person's soul. The same goes for everything else, such as animals, things, jobs or situations.

Every human being is a soul that is an epitome of love, thus essentially wants to be loved and to love, no matter what its sly ministers have to say about it. Mind, emotions, and body can be very deceitful and don't represent a human’s true soul fully. Most people are not strong enough to resist or handle the temptations of their mind, heart, and body, such as fear, anger, greed, ego , etc. For those people you can feel compassion because they have fallen into a temptation, because they were too weak to resist it or deal with it constructively. For those people you should feel love, along with compassion, so as to help them get rid of temptations and reconnect with their soul. Most people don't want to help these people, because they think they haven't deserved it. Even if it were so, you need to love them for your own sake, because that helps you more than them. Love renews your cells and creates positive vibrations in you, affecting positive changes in all aspects of your life. Besides, you create good karma for yourself.

Similarly, everything else has a soul or essence that is the reflection of the higher, perfectly balanced spirit, for the lack of a better word. Seeing mainly a positive or negative side of something means being one-sided, partial, and limited, resulting in equally attributed outcomes in life. Limited perception equals limited life.

3Also, it’s important to realize the oneness of all existence, that the soul of every creature is a part of a whole to which you also belong, and that makes it natural to love it unconditionally. The whole has many parts and every part has an effect on the whole, like in a hologram. We are connected to other souls partly as a family, as a community, as a nation, and as a part of the whole of the human race, as well as of the whole of God’s creatures. Every person, not just family and friends, is actually a part of you, your greater identity, so we are all interconnected in one kaleidoscope, because we all have the same source and the same Maker. When one part of the whole is disturbed, all parts are affected on some level – just like, when you hurt your arm, your eyes cry, your other arm is extra-burdened and so on. You are affected by sufferings of others, even though you are not aware of most of it. When you know that we are all more or less connected and dependent on each other, you won't be foolish so as to harm anybody, since harming another actually means harming yourself. Rather, be wise, love everyone no matter what, knowing that love makes everything better, heals all wounds, fixes everything and makes dreams come true.

You need to grasp these essentials for altering your perception of reality so as to eliminate all the obstructive beliefs for loving unconditionally. However, removing obstacles doesn't necessarily always translate into actually living according to what you know, so here are some further insights into the nature of loving unconditionally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is How to Love Unconditionally:
Unconditional love starts at home – with oneself. As explained earlier in the segment on “How to Love Yourself”, self-love has nothing to do with the flaws such as narcissism, selfishness, haughtiness, arrogance, egoism, vanity and the like. If you cannot deem yourself worthy of being loved unconditionally (by yourself and by others), you’ll never truly be able to deem yourself worthy of extending it. You can't give what you don't have. So, start with loving yourself unconditionally. Unless you do that, it is impossible to love others unconditionally. Own it, own the unconditional love.

What that means in practice is living your life according to this one simple question: “what would someone who loves himself do in this situation, or decide or say?” as Teal Swan suggests. The answer is always aligned with allowing and non-resistance. It will come to you when you allow it, you don't have to conceive it, think through or analyze – just receive it from your Higher Self.

This way you go with the flow and line up with your joy. Every single decision throughout every single day needs to come from the answer to this simple question. The answer is always going to come easy, but taking action in accordance with it will not be always that easy. That is why you need to make a commitment and make use of some other virtues.

There are countless techniques you can use to improve your life, which can be overwhelming. You can forget all that, because this simple process of answering this simple question is going to lead you toward your ideal life. You can apply it in all matters, such as health, relationships, school, work, finances, etc.

Acting on the answer you receive is going to be very challenging at times, but it is something you need to do if you want to change your current conditions. For instance, when tomorrow your alarm goes off telling you to get up and go to work, ask yourself this question. If loving yourself means not to go to the job you hate, making the decision not to go to work will be extremely hard. Most people would resist it and so keep on suffering. That is why you need something to back up your decision, to allow the allowing process.

You need some other virtues other than decisiveness, virtues such as faith, love, determination, committedness, self-discipline, self-confidence, courage,… – activate those relevant virtues in such moments. Never, ever make decisions based on fear, worry or any other flaws. This is how you can always know whether you made a right decision or not – ask yourself, whether your decision was made by cultivating a virtue or a flaw (fear, worry, doubt, greed…), whether it is aligned with what would someone who loves himself do.

Make every decision based on self-love instead of any other criteria. Make every decision so that you evoke unconditional love in that moment and decide in that mode of consciousness, instead of in the dispirited mode. Then an idea will pop up in your head or you will get an intuitive message, a gut feeling about what you need to do. Disregard the conscious reasoning because it is normally influenced or clouded by ego, fear, prejudices, misconceptions, and many other distractor factors.

Obviously, you need to activate your virtue of courage in challenging times. Bold steps and freedom are not for cowards. Make use of your mighty virtues and everything will come to its place. By doing everything as someone who loves himself would do, you are allowing the universe to take you along the quickest route to your ideal circumstance. When you do that, you align yourself with your highest good. Acting on that simple question might seem a small thing but it is the greatest and hardest thing to do, not because loving yourself is hard but because you will encounter many demons that prevent you from your ideal mode of living, demons like fear, doubt, worry, and others. But this process of answering this simple question will allow you to face them in a way that ensures that you will not resist them, instead you will flow around them – true love is more powerful than any demons; if it is not, it means it is not really love.

If you are living in a community in which the concept of unconditional love is not only foreign but even so far-off that it is deemed unreasonable, as most communities are, then you need a paradigm shift to be able to allow unconditional love – a radical change in underlying beliefs.

"A paradigm is a constellation of concepts, values, perceptions and practices shared by a community, which forms a particular vision of reality that is the basis of the way a community organizes itself."
– Fritjof Capra
 

A paradigm is a distinct set of ideas and beliefs of a community which acts as a filter, influencing how we perceive and make sense of the world. It is a multitude of deliberate concepts or thought patterns, including theories, assumptions, postulates, standards, values, and practices that forms a certain mindset and a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them. In other words, it is a program in your head containing the basic ways of thinking and doing that are commonly accepted by members of your community, which controls your behavior. You can read the best self-help books, but if their information doesn't fit your paradigm or is at odds with it, you won't be able to bring yourself to do anything suggested even if you want it because your subconscious will sabotage it. That is why you need to radically change your paradigm, your subconscious programming. Just to be clear, a paradigm is a commonly accepted understanding of reality of a particular community, but it is not the truth about reality, because different communities or cultures have different understandings of reality and of what the actual truth is. We all inherit a paradigm from our family, our religion group, educational system as well as larger communities such as our nation and demographic group. Others constantly impose the parts of paradigm on us, and habitually we do it onto others too. We share common ideas without much questioning, taking them as real, as truth, when in reality it is not necessarily so. What works for some, doesn't necessarily work others.
Story of five monkeys illustrating a paradigm creation »

If unconditional love seems inconceivable, impossible or unnecessary to you, it means that in your consciousness and subconscious a paradigm is instilled, which doesn't allow or makes it hard to accept unconditional love. Like everyone, you are programed with certain paradigms and so you approach and react to the world around you respective of it, interpreting what you see and experience according to the collective understandings and those culturally determined guidelines. You're delusional if you think you think with your own head. Just because you were born in a community, it doesn't mean that it has the best paradigm. You will know how great it is by looking at how your community members live – do you want their life? If not, why would you want to maintain their paradigm?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Throughout years we have been subjected to all kinds of educational indoctrinations, dogmas, brain-washing material and ads that serve other people’s agenda, not our own, but they are misrepresented as if it is all for our own good. Most people function on a lower end of the scale of consciousness and based on their ignorance, fears, worries and other delusions many of them concoct certain paradigmatic perceptions to make others conform to their agendas. Everyone drives water to their mill, and so we too adapted a variety of existing models to our model of Virtuology in order to get readers to seriously consider virtues as a tool for success and happiness. We are trying to win you over to accept our paradigm, which we believe to serve not only our purpose, but everyone's. Not all people make them up, of course, but most people spread them by default, out of their own ignorance, fears and worries, but also out of trust in authorities that created them.

For instance, the rich were subjected or exposed to a different paradigm than the poor, hence the difference in their realities. So, the poor folks believe that the way to make money is to work, whereas the very rich think that to work is the worst way to make money (it is better to earn passive income from investments). Also, the poor people’s paradigm allows them to have only one source of income, whereas the rich have arranged to have multiple sources of income.

If you suffer from relationship, health or any other issues, it means that something is off with your paradigm. If you want to change something in your life, no matter what aspect of your life, you need to shift your paradigms. And to do that, you need to activate certain virtues. A paradigm shift is a change to a new game, or a new set of beliefs and rules. If the role-models of your community are not your heroes, if you don't strive to be like them, then you shouldn't play their game, rather switch to another game, one worth playing.

Switching the paradigm is not a walk in a park, but you can take it as an adventure. No adventure would be called that, neither would it be fun, if there were no challenges involved. Challenges makes it so exciting to take part in it, to play. Depending on what you want from life and what your mission or purpose in life is, you can consciously choose a paradigm that suits you the best. Not all paradigms lead to your goal, but choosing to love unconditionally is a sure bet.

How to change a paradigm? Through repetition of new information. If your goal is to be able to love everyone unconditionally (so that you can easily manifest anything in life), you need to program yourself to love unconditionally. No transformation has ever come without discomfort. Every breakthrough is a break of something  – mainly of own flaws and old, destructive beliefs and habits. That is why you need to embrace discomfort; discomfort is good because it brings you transformation you need or want. It is not comfortable to program yourself; sure, it would be more comfortable to walk in a park, or watch a movie, or whatever.

So, you need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone for a while so that you can live in a greater comfort eventually for the rest of your life. The good is the enemy of the great. Therefore, program yourself with the constructive information by repeating it. Do it as you please; if you prefer you can meditate on it regularly, you can repeat affirmations regularly, you can regularly visualize it, either mentally or make yourself a vision board or a video to watch. Make unconditional love a standard in your life by constantly engaging in it. It might be uncomfortable at start, but with time it will ingrain in your life-style as you will start enjoying it and reaping all the benefits.

If money is what you want then one way to reprogram yourself, that is change your paradigm about money,  is to repeat this affirmation over and over whenever you have spare time, like waiting in the line at the supermarket, or at the doctor’s office, or at the bus stop, or while riding on a bus, and so on: "I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing qualities through multiple sources on the continuous basis." You don't say it just once or twice a day, but you’ve got to say it maybe a thousand times for the next 90 days.

For those who spend a lot of time at the computer, we recommend one free software that displays the selected (subliminal) affirmations in the desired intervals on the screen, even so that it is invisible to the eye, but goes to subconscious. It can be easily installed on the computer, you enter all your favorite affirmations, regulate settings – color, font, duration, and frequency – and let them play while you're at the computer. It dosn't disturb because you don't even notice them if you put duration under 100 ms. In the settings you can adjust to make the affirmations visible, not subliminal.
Video presentation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEs3gQ2VThw
Download software: http://www.mc2method.com/subliminal-software/

Another software for displaying affirmations on the computer screen is the one for virtual post-it notes. There are plenty providers on the net, free of charge – for example: hottnotes »
Once you create a sticky note with affirmation(s), make sure to opt for "Stay on top" (right click), so that the note always stays on top of whatever you open on your screen. This way, you can often look at it and, also, it will enter your subconsciousness even when you don't look at it – eye will register it nevertheless.

Also, you change a paradigm by questioning your beliefs and thoughts, especially whenever you need to make an important decision. At such times, you just asked if whatever belief that arises, whether it is aligned with the concept of unconditional love or not. If it is not, discard it; if it is, embrace it. Make decisions based on the concept of unconditional love, or even better, while loving unconditionally.

Moving on, to love unconditionally doesn't mean to support someone’s wrongdoings, or to accept being someone’s victim, nor let others make a fool of you, nor to cater to those who sin. Loving unconditionally doesn't mean being stupid, it means being wise. In challenging circumstances, it means to act in certain ways:

  • Master the art of compartmentalizing, in other words of separating appearances, deeds, words and other expressions from the essence. Loving the essence comes naturally. Sure, there will always be some parts of your job, school, fellow beings and yourself that you won't be able to love, but that is ok, because by loving the essence of it, you are able to lessen the effect of any negative thoughts and emotions, and moreover you might be able to transmute any negativity into a positivity.

  • Refuse to go down to another person’s level of consciousness, don't give in to temptations of criticizing, complaining, blaming, regret, revenge and such. We show our true self in situations in which our unconditional love is most needed. When someone falls into a temptation, we don't have to fall into it too, but rise out of the situation and say to ourselves something like: “No, I will not be tempted by someone or something to… criticize/complain, I will not let anyone or anything steal my happiness/joy/peace/freedom!”

  • In such challenging situations, you should refrain from reciprocating, play it cool instead, and respond with an unexpected measure, such as with a smile, sense of humor, funny remark, calming words and words that comes from the center of love.

  • Unconditional love doesn't necessarily imply unconditional acceptance or approval. You can love without accepting or approving everything. You can love a person or your job or anything else even though you don't approve many its characteristics. Instead of being negative about the negative parts, entertaining toxic emotions, thoughts and deeds, rather be constructive about it – think of the ways to change it for the better, one of which is simply loving it unconditionally. The loving vibes will eventually contribute to a transformation, if a transformation is needed at all, since in a greater scheme of things negative aspects are as needed as positive ones for the dynamics of development and evolution.

  • If it is necessary, it can also be good to distance yourself, but not in a way that would seem like ignoring, like you don't care. Instead, you should let the person know why you are distancing yourself, but that you still love him/her, but you don't want to be his/her victim anymore. Distancing yourself from an environment in which you are repeatedly mistreated or taken advantage of can be a choice aligned with unconditional love for both yourself and the other person. Sometimes we must love someone from a distance to protect ourselves, or to give the others space and time to think things over and alter their misconducts.

  • To love unconditionally often entails letting go, releasing, so that in its own time and on its own terms could freely come back, if it is meant to.

  • Part of loving others unconditionally is fostering their growth, and discomfort is mostly a crucial part of a growth process. Unconditional love means doing what you can to make the other person happy, but also helping them grow through unavoidable and necessitated experiences of discomfort.

  • You should send thoughts of love to that person as often as possible, which will subconsciously transform him or her. Also, if it’s possible and appropriate, express gestures of love in the language of love that they are able to understand.

  • Use affirmations of love as often as possible.

  • When you are not fit to go as far as to love unconditionally, it helps at least to go as far as possible up the scale of consciousness. By just remembering and being aware of the benefits of unconditional love you will be able to let go of all the negative emotions and not to fall down the scale. So, if you cannot bring yourself to feel love at the needed moment, at least remind yourself of the concept of unconditional love and consciously refuse to dwell on any negative thought and feeling that might arise. Sure, you will be tempted to go down the scale of consciousness, we all do, as we are prone to take the line of least resistance, but as you start to feel down, just remind yourself of this scale and of unconditional love and so lift yourself up. With time and experience you will be able to dwell shorter on disempowering modes of consciousness and reach the empowering ones quicker and stay that way longer.

  • Cultivate all the virtues supportive of unconditional love, particularly those that your faith propagates. In Christianity there are 10 commandments. In Bible it is written that loving means adhering to God’s commandments – John 14:21: “Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me.” As far as Christian commandments go, loving entails refraining from worshiping other gods, from idolatry, profanity, overworking, killing, committing adultery, stealing, lying, and wishing that which belongs to others. In other words, loving entails cultivating these virtues: loyalty, respect, honor, honesty, truthfulness, faithfulness, modesty, contentment and the like.

    • Gratitude – you can express unconditional love via maintaining gratitude attitude, appreciating all the aspects of the objects of love. By gratefulness you focus upon what is right rather than what is wrong. This is not to keep your head under the ground or pretend that there are no problems, but to acknowledge that when you are grateful you open your consciousness to solutions and attract more stuff to be grateful for.

    • Forgiveness – it comes from knowing that everybody makes mistakes. Don't mistake being willing to forgive for letting people walk all over you. To love unconditionally means to acknowledge the fact that everyone fails sometimes. Forgiveness is freeing especially for the one who forgives. It unburdens you from toxic thoughts and emotions and lifts you up to a mode of consciousness which is lighter and more powerful.

    • Detachment – it does not mean not caring. It means detaching your happiness from external factors so they are no longer gate keepers of your happiness. You can love and care for others but you should not make them responsible for how you feel. Practice detachment.

    • Wholeheartedness – loving unconditionally means loving fully, unreservedly, with your whole heart and soul. It means that you love generously and freely – free from any prejudices, fears, phobias, worries or any other restrictions. You have been given a heart to use it whole, not just partially. They say we use only 10 % of our brains, but more truly is that we use only 10 % of our hearts. It is like using just one finger instead of all ten. Don't unnecessarily limit yourself, rather free yourself, free your heart and soul. Never mind the consequences, in the long run, in the greater scheme of things it is always better to love 100 % than any less.

    • Mercy – to be merciful or gracious does not mean to accept or tolerate evil, but to understand that we are not called to judge anyone because there is a Higher Power and natural laws that do it better – they justly regulate everything in the world so we do not need to take the law in own sinful hands. Mercy also does not mean to be permissive and make concessions, but express humanity and create conditions in which sinners feel the need to repent, apologize, make amends and transform, that is, not repeat the same mistakes in the future but rather cultivate the virtues instead, for own good as well as ours.

    • Compassion – it is a virtue of moving from judgment to caring, from disconnection to connection, from dislike to understanding, and little by little to unconditional love.


Receiving unconditional love

Surely, giving unconditional love is very important but receiving it is as much important if not even more. How can you keep on giving unconditional love if you believe you are the only one giving it? So, first you need to acknowledge and receive the unconditional love you have been given, not from other human beings, but from the universe, or God, Unified Field, or whatever you want to call that supreme force in nature that created everything.

It is of utmost importance for you to be aware of the undeniable fact that the entire universe loves you unconditionally. Unconditional love is your prenatal state as it is your most natural state on your soul level. Your mind, emotions and body, being under polarizing influences, give you illusion of otherwise, but innately your nature is that of unconditional love, as it is the nature of every other being, even though hardly anyone is aware of it.

The universe is operating on unconditional love – sun shines over you unconditionally, no matter who you are, a saint or sinner; flowers offer you their beauty and scents also unconditionally, no matter who you are, a saint or sinner. Animals also treat us all the same, whether we are rich or poor, intelligent or not, good or bad – your dog or cat loves you unconditionally. Universe provides you with air to breathe, regardless of you being good or bad. Abundance of landscapes are given to us all to enjoy, parks, forests, rivers, etc. – unconditional of us deserving it or not.

Even the things you perceive as negative are also expression of unconditional love, because they provide you with the dynamic, needed for your development and evolution in general. Everything negative that happens to you, it is actually for you, not against you – you just need to discern the gift in it, the positive side to it  and soon enough you will realize how it brought you more good than harm.

Do you know why the universe loves you unconditionally? Because in reality, there is no such thing as duality, no such thing as worthy or unworthy of love. Dualities appear only to a limited mind, because dualities are just polarized expression of one and the same thing. Like a coin that has two sides. It doesn't matter which side you show, positive or negative one, you are still the same worthy soul, as it doesn't matter which side of a coin you show to the cashier – it has the same value. The sides have no value, the coin as a whole has a value. If there were not both sides, coin wouldn't exist, it wouldn't have its value. What gives the coin a value is both sides, not just one. Likewise, your value is not less just because a negative side shows, when you are flipped. In the eyes of the universe you have the same value no matter what, we all have the same value no matter what, so there is no reason not to love yourself unconditionally.

The only reason you might not feel this unconditional love is because you turn your back (negative side) to the universe – you doubt, you don't believe, don't trust, you worry, you fear, you complain, criticize and so on. If you flip to the other side of your being, to the positive one, you will experience a totally different reality. You can do the flip, or shift, if you first acknowledge the unconditional love of the universe. Take some moments to absorb this love, to be fully aware of it – with new eyes look at the magnificence of your world, at the shiny and warm sun, starry skies, blooming gardens and parks in your area, at birds singing to you and butterflies gracing you with their presence, immense free content on the internet…

Open your eyes to the beauty that surrounds you; get out and consciously look for something exceptionally beautiful, open yourself to the possibility of experiencing that and you'll see it. Otherwise it will pass you by. That's how it always is. We do not see the beauty and abundance because we have not really opened our eyes to what is beautiful and abundant, but only for what is not, because of our attitude towards the world.

You are loved unconditionally and given abundance of reasons to be joyful and grateful; you don't need to deserve any of that. The extent to which you will receive abundance is the extent to which you are appreciative of it. If you mainly moan and complain, worry and fear, doubt and distrust, then you yourself are oblivious to the abundance that surrounds you and therefore you suffer. All you need to make a shift is to become aware of the abundance all around you and of the unconditional love of the universe, which you haven't appreciated enough until now. You don't have to do anything to deserve it; all you have to do is simply allow it, or stop resisting it.

Fix this here and now, embrace universe's unconditional love and imagine yourself in the ideal circumstances, keep that vision all the time, don't lose a sight of it and the universe will provide you with all that is missing in that picture, like water that flows there where the holes are. You should not desire, want or strive for anything, because with it you affirm the lack instead of abundance, which will then attract more of that lack. Instead of desire, have a vision of your ideal conditions and be aware of other dimensions of reality in which that is already a reality, so by the virtue of love, appreciation, joy, peace, faith and other you will allow your ideal reality to manifest.

“If I love you, what business is it of yours?”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

 

 

"May those who love us, love us. And those who don't, may God turn their hearts. And if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping."
– Irish prayer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No one is so rich that he could renounce love, nor so poor that he could not give it."
Talidari

 

     How to Be Loved

The power of love is not only in the ability to love, but also in the ability to receive love.
The art of loving implies the ability to give and receive love – two sides of the same coin.

Unrequited Love

It’s one thing to love, and another to be loved. Unfortunately, sometimes the one whom we love doesn't love us back. If you are somehow not able to cause your love to be reciprocated, you shouldn't be unhappy because, if nothing else, at least you are able to love, which is equally magnificent – if it really is love and not something else you are feeling. In fact, to love is better than to be loved. Enjoy loving, without burdening your loved one. Love without expectations. This will create favorable conditions for the reciprocation of love.

If loving is not enough, or you're not happy with one-sided love, it means that it is not really love you are feeling, but merely some need or even a shortcoming, such as possessiveness, loneliness, lust, addiction, vanity, pride ... And if it is about the things you love but can't get or have them, then instead of love, you might feel greed, addiction or some other weakness.

Having said that, to love it means to unite or be one with other(s), so if you don't have a chance to unite with the object of love, then it is only natural to feel unsatisfied about that. A loving soul naturally aspires to oneness and unity, so nothing wrong with aspiring to be together with the object(s) of love. However, the perception of what it means to be together and united needs to be altered. Physical interpretation is a limited one, although the physical presence might be important. In the multidimensional reality, we are already one with everything, but we are not aware of it or not allowing it, due to our misperceptions and misconceptions.

If you need love from others, ask yourself how capable you are of inducing love in others. Is it someone else’s fault if they don't love you? What is it that prevents others from loving you? What are your weaknesses that diminish your value in other people’s eyes? Are you willing to face those shortcomings of yours? Do you intend to keep them at the cost of love, or are you planning to do something about them?

Let us ask you something: do you have a habit of moaning and gossiping? Honestly! Are you often tempted to moan? What do you think, is it easy to love people that have a negative attitude towards life and world? Do you yourself like spending time with this kind of people who complain and criticize all the time? One of the big steps in being an object of someone's love is a change in character from a grumpy to a pleasant person – in thoughts, words, and actions.

Furthermore, do you have enough self-confidence? Most people lack it, so they are attracted to the people with confidence – we are always attracted to what we lack. If you don't have it, maybe that's what you're missing to get someone/others to love you, or this is the reason why you attract the ones who exploit your lack of self-confidence and why you are not “lucky” in love. Confidence can be activated by gaining awareness of who you really are in your core – a perfect soul created in the likeness of God. You already have everything to be worthy of love – you are born with all the virtues; you just need to activate them and cultivate them.


Getting the Love

Each and every one of us is worthy of love. Especially if we manage to tame our little demons, free ourselves from our flaws, remove our imperfections, and right our wrongs. Even if we fail, we are worthy of love for all the virtues we do have and because we are capable of loving but mostly because in our core each of us is a perfect soul.

To some people giving love is easier than receiving it. Regardless of the obstacles in any direction, they can be removed. Some of the most efficient methods for personal rebirth are a change of paradigm and letting go.

If you are not loved by someone in particular, that could mean a few things a have respective solutions:

  • it is only a matter of time before the person starts to love you. Sometimes the timing is not right; either you or the other person must mature into the state of being able to receive or give love. In that case, you need to cultivate the virtue of patience, but also the other virtues that makes you lovable;
  • this person is wrong for you. If you are meant to be together, you would be; the whole universe would conspire to join you in love together;
  • the other person expects you to do something before he or she feels free or safe to either love you or show you love (maybe she/he loves you but something prevents her/him to show it). In such case, it is good to talk with the person and listen to that which is not directly said, between the lines, so to speak. There could be something about you or the whole situation that bothers this person, which if you resolve, it will make him/her love you freely;
  • you are not expressing enough of love gestures. In this case, do something about to express your love clearly so that the other person can't refuse it and can reciprocate. Make sure to speak the language of love of the other person, as described above in the Love Gestures segment;
  • you are pretending to be someone you are not and it shows. Pretence is never a lovable feature in a person, thus be authentic, be yourself. This doesn't mean you should be rude, or lazy or anything like that, but be your greatest you.
What others have to say about how to be loved:
  • "If you want to be loved, be worthy of it."
    "Love does not rule, but it builds, and that is more."
    "Love is called first confidentiality." – Goethe
  • "Love is love's reward." – John Dryden
  • "If you want to be loved, love!“ – Seneca
  • "Follow love, it will escape you; escape from love, it will follow you." – English proverb
  • "Love breeds love.” – Latin proverb

Summa summarum: love yourself and others, then love will be reciprocated to you by the universal law of cause and effect, as well as the law of reciprocity and the law of attraction. If not from the one(s) you want, then surely from the one(s) you deserve.


Why We Need to Be Loved

We already covered the subject of why we all need to love, but we also need to cover the subject of why exactly we all need to be loved too, and why we have that need, but only because to arrive at how to ultimately love and be loved all at once – mutual love.

Think for a minute, why do you want to be loved, but really? Why? What do you get out of it, which you can't get otherwise? Sure, you get extra attention, intimacy, presents, favors, connectedness… – all of which is actually obtainable without being loved. But why at all do you want extra attention, intimacy, presents, favors, connectedness… If we dig deeper, we’ll all probably come to a conclusion that ultimately we want to be loved so that we ourselves could be free to love unrestrictedly, intensely and sincerely, because we then could feel deeply and sublimely, and transcend to that magnificent spaceless and timeless dimension of reality, the real reality, beyond this limited 3D one.

Ultimately, it is this mode of being we are craving for, in which our reality is … what is the best word for it … dimensionless and dimensionfull at the same time, a mode beyond duality, a mode in which the two unite. Subconsciously and superconsciously, we all crave for this elevated mode of being in which we feel as one with the being(s) we love, in which we, actually, are as one.  As a matter of fact, being one with another human being is essentially our true reality, our true nature. So, ultimately, we want to be loved so that we could experience the supreme oneness.

The best we’d like to be one with the person that impresses us the most, because he or she has that something we need or miss to feel complete  and balanced, to feel this sublime oneness. Naturally, all this happens on a superconscious level, no one really being aware of it, but this is the reality of the craving for love. So, by craving for love, we really crave for oneness.

However, if we manage to be one with another human being without the need to be loved, then we are free from this craving and all that comes with it. Often people do all kinds of adverse things just to be loved, such as working too hard, or even lying, cheating, stealing or killing in order to obtain things they love, or to win love and appreciation of others. You can save yourself all this trouble of getting others to love you by rising your consciousness to the level where you are conscious of you being one not just with one particular person, but with the whole of the humanity and beyond. You can take our word for it and by virtues of faith and trust embrace this insight of you being one with everyone and everything, or you can make it hard on yourself and invest time, effort and resources to derive at it on your own at some point. The choice is yours.

It is one thing to know this and quite another to truly live it. You will know that you live it, that you are at this mode of consciousness where and when all is one, you will know it when you see through the duality and free yourself of the illusion of separateness from any other human being, when you can't possibly do no harm to anyone because this would mean that you do harm to yourself, and instead have no choice but love others as you love yourself, knowing that in absolute reality you are one with everyone. You will know that you really live it, when you feel that you are in the zone, in that beyond-dimensional no-space, no-time place where and when is anything possible to you with ease.

When you are there, then you have that air about you that makes you lovable. You won't need flashy cars or anything like that to impress others to love you, nevertheless you will be able to obtain all the flashy stuff, because in such a soulful mode you will easily attract all you need to fulfill your mission and, naturally, this fulfillment brings all kinds of rewards with it.

To be able to get there, to truly perceive this oneness and unity outside being loved, you need to first reconnect with your soul and do your perceiving from the soul perspective, that means not from the mind’s perspective, nor heart’s nor body’s. To be clear, this is not an intellectual endeavor. You don't need to be endowed with great intellect to grasp this. Actually, those who are stuck on intellectual interpretations, they will have more difficulties to grasp it.

As mentioned before, one way to go about it is by virtues of faith and trust, by simply believing us that this is true. When you take our word for it, then take it as far as you can. Instead of focusing on all what separates you from others, refocus on what connects you, what you have in common. See through all the superficial, outward show and arrive at the deep, inward level of all beings, at the level of the soul, connect with others on a soul level by looking at a soul of a person, not at a body, or mind, or emotional state, which are polarized by nature by everyone, including you.

Furthermore, take any duality and make it neutral, be conscious of the constant shift of positive and negative poles in all beings, things and phenomena, of its vibration from one end to the other. The real thing only takes dual expressions as the means of dynamics, which enables evolution. Embrace both positive and negative pole equally, because they are equally worthy in the greater scheme of things, and then go beyond this dual expression so as to perceive that which unites it. Metaphorically, see the coin, instead of just its sides, or see the ocean beneath the waves, or the sky beyond the sun and rain… see the one beyond the two, the one that makes the two exist in the first place. Take it as far as you can towards perceiving this oneness with your soul.

If you don't feel love for all beings that means you are not quite there yet, you don't truly perceive the oneness of you and everybody else. The mind under the influence of ego might interfere, thus use your heart, and use your gut so as to hush the obstructive mind-talk. Connect with your soul, tune in to the oneness, and true love will emerge. It is not just something you do once or twice, or something you do just in meditation; it is a habit, an attitude, a mode of being, a life-style.
 
"Where you plant love, grows love."
Talidari

 

 

 

 


William H. Hunt’s famous painting
"The Light of the World"

    Why Sometimes We Don't Get What We Love

You don't get what you love because:

  • you don't really love; it is some other similar emotion, or need, or even fault (greed);
  • you love with your head, not with your heart and your soul;
  • you lack congruence (alignment of your thoughts, words and actions);
  • you love in theory but not in practice – you don't spend enough time in the actual state of loving it;
  • your faults are greater than your love – greed, doubt, worry, fears,, etc.;
  • your desire doesn't allow it since with striving you affirm lack which then manifests;
  • it is not meant to be – your karma does not allow it due to your previous actions;
  • it is not good for you, for your development;
  • it is not the right time for it – you will get it when the time is right (there is a season for reaping).

If you are asking yourself how come you don't manifest as you wish you would, although you love what you do, the answer might be that you don't really enjoy it as you should – you don't cultivate true joy while doing it. Many people get too involved in their dream job, they get overwhelmed with the particulars and the particular aspects of it as they take too much upon themselves, overburdening themselves and stressing too much, worrying about the outcome, as well as maybe even doubting themselves, that they totally forget to enjoy it most of the time and instead mostly struggle. No wonder it brings them not much.

If in your talking and thinking, you are more concerned with what you don't love, every one of those things will manifest in your life. You cannot get or accomplish what you love if you mostly think or talk about what you don't love and feel bad about not having what you love. Negative emotions and thoughts like frustration, disappointment, despair, criticism, self-pity, complaining, disbelief, doubt, stubbornness and alike are what keeps you from getting everything you love.

When you imagine your ideal life and create a vision of it, you place your cosmic order with the universe and then you need to be 100 % congruent in the thoughts, words and action. Otherwise, it seems as when you come to a feast with the thought of ordering/choosing to eat something you love, but then you complain to the waiter how normally all this is expensive and instead of just ordering, sitting down and letting a waiter to bring your favorite dish, you complain and criticize and leave, and then you moan at home because you're hungry.

If you do affirmations on what you love but then speak and act as if that is not true, then you are incongruent and therefore resist the manifesting. What's the use of affirming something like "I am the owner of a such and such mansion at whatever place", if you don't believe it and if you don't act as someone who owns such a mansion! Such dissonance prevents manifestation. Realize that in another dimension of reality all possibilities are already manifested, so you are not lying or pretending but allowing a chosen reality to manifest itself itself – with your congruent behavior you attract it in the three visible dimensions of reality.

Striving (to get what you want or love) is incongruent. It implies you believe you lack something and then this lack mentality attracts more of lacking. It also implies you don't trust the universe to do its part in fulfilling your request, otherwise you would be just allowing it, instead of striving for it. All that’s required is that your thoughts, words, and actions line up.
Let go of all the wishing and goal setting and focus on what you do best.

"Every time you talk about what you don't love, you are adding another bar to the cage and you are locking yourself away from all the good."
– Rhonda Byrne
 

You can attract whatever you truly love by deciding and consciously preoccupying your thoughts, words, and actions with the vision of things you love. For starters, it’s enough to increase the amount of your thoughts, words, and deeds to be positive and full of love. In time, they will multiply on their own, without any special effort on your part. So, you don’t have to worry if you don’t manage aligning all your thoughts, words, and actions with your vision; it’s enough if many of them are, ideally at least 51% of them. Then, naturally, you increase it.

Speaking of which, for the sake of well-being, it is not necessary to spend 51% of the time in the mode of love and other virtues because virtues have more power than flaws, just as light has greater power than darkness (turn on the light and darkness disappears), so in principle, it is sufficient spend less time in high modes of consciousness. However, the longer, the better, which is why we recommend aiming for 51%, although it is not a problem if you do not manage it.  

"However impossible someone’s wish may seem; it will fulfil with the help of the fire of love.
If it doesn't fulfil, it means the fire wasn't strong enough."
Talidari
 

Anegdote

The Door Of The Human Heart

When William Holman Hunt painted a wonderful picture of the thorn-crowned King outside the door knocking, he showed his picture to his dearest friend, in the studio before it was publicly exhibited. His friend looked at it, at the kingly figure of Christ, at the rough and rugged door, and at the clinging tendrils which had spread themselves over the door.

Suddenly he said: “Hunt, you have made a mistake here.”

“What mistake have I made?” said the artist.

“Why, you have painted a door without a handle.”

“That is not a mistake,” replied Hunt. “It is the door of the human heart. It opens only from the inside.”

The painting iillustrates Bible's Revelation 3:20: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any man
hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me".

Reference

bullet  Rhonda Byrne – "Power"
bullet  Osho – "Life, Love, Laughter"...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a heaven in hell’s despair."

– William Blake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Audio: Louise Hay –
How To Love Yourself
[10 steps to loving yourself]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Inspirational Videos

The FASTEST Way To Manifest Your Desires – through Self-Love

 

 

 

 

A Gift of Love
Maintain the vibration of love by listening to the love poetry of Sufi poet Rumi.
Poetry is recited by Deepak Chopra, Madonna, Demi Moore, Martin Sheen, Goldie Hawn and others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oprah interviewing Father Richard Rohr on love.
Love is death of false self. It is taking a risk to change yourself for this person,
to let go of who you thought you were, giving them the power to change you.
You don't love a person if you don't give him/her the power to change you.

 

 

 

 

 

Lecture: Romance Without Regret
This cool talk about sex, love, lust, pornography and such is intended for school children and students

 

 

 

 

How to find the man of your life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Jobs explains the rules for success:
You need a lot of passion for what you’re doing because it’s so hard. Without passion, any rational person would give up. So, if you’re not having fun doing it, if you don't absolutely love it, you’re going to give up. And that’s what happens to most people, actually. If you look at the ones that ended up being successful in the eyes of society, often times it’s the ones who love what they do, so they could persevere when it got really tough. And the ones that didn't love it, quit. Because they’re sane, right? Who would put up with this stuff if you don't love it? So, it’s a lot of hard work and it’s a lot of worrying constantly. If you don't love it, youre going to fail.

 

 

 

 

 

 
What is love – Carmen gives her answer Bizet's opera:

Lyrics in original French language »

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I believe the children are our are future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be. Everybody searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to I never found anyone to fulfill my needs. A lonely place to be, so I learned to depend on me.

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe. No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity.

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe. No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity.

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place that you’ve been dreaming of, leads you to a lonely place, find your strength in love.

Whitney Houston – The Greatest Love of All
(Live at the Grammys 1986.)
Home | Disclaimer | Privacy | Sitemap
Copyright © 2009 by Talidari :: Designed by Talidari